The Importance Of Reading. What Reading Triggers In A Child's Mind

I remember in primary school, every Saturday, my mom would take my sisters and I to the library and we would sit there for an hour and read, and either take the book home or pick another book to take home. It was a trip I always looked forward to because there were so many books, so many options, so much I could learn about. If it weren't for her taking us to the library, I probably would not have enjoyed school much. It made me want to learn as much as I could. Books have a wealth of information and they open our minds to so much, which is why it is important to get our children to read more.

I am going to share some points from an article from a website called called Raising Smart Kids, their points sum up the benefits of reading:

• Being a reader hones your child to be a success in life.  Understanding mathematics, science, history, engineering, mechanics, political science, takes a lot of reading and the discipline required to concentrate and read. Learning this skill early makes your child well-prepared for these challenges.
• Being a reader leads to a productive, enriched life in which your child can master complex information, pursue passions, and make a decent living.   Reading opens your child’s mind to the world and greatly increases her life prospects.
• For a child who is a reader, reading is a pleasure, and for him, reading is a habitual lifelong activity.
• When your child is a reader, he develops an appetite for knowledge.  Reading contributes to the background knowledge of your child for a variety of subject areas including science, history, geography, math, and social studies.  The more your child learns, the more he wants to know.
• A reader usually has empathy towards other people, because good stories and literature is about the human condition, the thinking and the emotions of being human.  Good literature values humanity and celebrates the human spirit and potential.
• A reader has his mind open to other culture, because reading offers insight into different lifestyles while recognizing universality.
• A reader learns vocabulary and grammar, which also improves his writing skills –  a very important skill to learn in the age of communication.
• Your child’s being a reader improves the probability of his staying in school.
• Reading enables your child a child to teach himself when he uses do it yourself books.  It also makes him learn a lot of skills on his own.
• Being a reader has good correlation with life span.  Education, employment and higher quality of life factors into this.  By having knowledge of importance of health, your child enjoys improved lifespan.
• A reader usually has improved problem-solving and critical thinking skills.  These are fundamental and transferable to all other areas of learning.  Critical thinking skills are also important to avoid being duped and scammed.
• A reader usually has a developed sense of humor, important to general well-being.
• A reader has an improved attention span.
• A reader constantly stimulates his imagination, important to developing creativity

Source: https://www.raisesmartkid.com/all-ages/1-articles/49-how-to-make-your-child-love-reading

Creativity starts in the mind. Your child believes in their own ability based on what you expose them to. Do not limit them to the world of imagination. 

Starting young is always good.

Take the time to read to your children, and have them read to you and to each other. 

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

Should Kids Go For Extra Lessons?

So many children of all ages from 8 years going up, are busy during the holidays going for extra lessons. If your child is not going for anything, it seems as if you are a bad mom. Is that really the case?

I think the most important point I have to mention first is that each child (even from the same family) learns differently, and at their own pace. We cannot compare our children because we will be comparing apples and oranges. So if a parent takes their child for extra lessons, it does not mean that your child must go too

Secondly, parents take their children to extra lessons for different reasons: 

• to just keep their knowledge fresh for certain subjects
• to become number 1 instead of number 2
• to polish up on certain concepts
• because they need extra attention on certain subjects
• the teacher has recommended it for the child to keep up
• to keep the child busy during the holiday

It may not always mean that your child is failing to understand a certain subject, it could just mean the parent wants their child to excel. That kind of pressure on a child is a topic we have discussed before and I shared my thoughts on it.

With exams coming up, you may find some children panic under pressure. For some children, preparing over a longer period improves their performance, and keeps them calm, so revision/extra lessons may help. It is all about knowing your child's ability and learning skills. 

How much time before the exams should your child start learning? It all depends on your child. I remember a friend of mine who would forget what she read if she studied two weeks before an exam, someone else would forget a month before, and some a day before. It is important to communicate and understand from your child what they need.

It really doesn't hurt to take your child for extra lessons, but if you do, take them for the right reasons, ensure they are learning something, and try and find a place/tutor that makes them enjoy learning and want to come back.

Short topic, but it has some strong points.

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

Should Boys Help Out In The Kitchen And Around The House?

Imagine being a mom of boys only, that means all the cleaning up and cooking is on you if you do not have someone to help you. It is a lot to handle, especially with the amount of energy boys have and their appetite as well; you will be on your feet most of the day. 

Now imagine you have a boy and a girl, is it fair to make the girl do the housework because she is a girl? Is it wrong to have both of them help out around the house?

Some parents say boys are meant to do men's work, repairing, building, painting, those kind of things. They believe that prepares them to be men, and that they should NOT do housework.....that is 1 point of view.

Other parents believe boys should help out because it teaches them to appreciate what is done around the house and that it teaches them responsibility...that's another point of view.

I do not think your child loses anything by helping out around the house; he actually gains more and learns more. 

• He will be more prepared for when he moves out or goes to university, he will be self sufficient;
• He gets to bond with mom and his other siblings. I think we know a lot is discussed when doing the dishes or cooking, its a good time to catch up with what is going on everyone's day;
• He also gets to appreciate what mom does and what his sisters do around the house, and hopefully will not be as messy or as unappreciative of what they did; 
• He will be more responsible, and the earlier he learns this, the better for him;
• It also removes the idea that men should not be seen helping out around the house. It is actually quite nice to see a young man help set the table or help clear up, to them, its just helping out, nothing more.

For the mothers of all boys, I have seen some who have said everyone helps out, and I have seen others who will say they will do it all for their sons, and it works for them.

It really is all about what works best for you and your children

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

What To Do When Children Lose Their Belongings At School

It is back to school tomorrow!! The coldest term of the year, and back to the school run! Second term is easier for the older kids as you don't have to buy much aside from stationery and covering paper and some socks.

The main headache every parent has is their child losing their belongings. You could mark it, glue it to their bag, glue the hat onto their head (hahah, not really) and still some kids will manage to misplace something. The worst is when they have sports or have to change at school....there goes another sock...sigh...

I have a friend whose daughter loses an item every week, I believe she does it on purpose to annoy her mother, and it works (hahah). If it is not her hat, its her jersey or shoe or lunch box. And without fail, my friend will snap at her child, naturally because it is quite frustrating. But scolding the child is clearly not working. But would leaving the child without the item for a while be a solution?

There are different reasons why children lose belongings, I will just share 3:

1. Their age: they are still young and not used to being responsible

2. Their character: they are just clumsy or forgetful or disorganised (this is when scolding

                              doesn't work)

3. The parent/s: They know mommy/daddy will replace the lost item, so there is no need                            to stress 

How many of you are guilty of #3??? I know many are. Some parents baby their children and thus the child does not learn to be responsible with their things. If I were a child and I knew I didn't have to worry about looking for anything I lost, I would definitely never stress about looking after my items. That life would be easy. I would just hand over my bag to mom who would look inside and frantically try and replace what is missing for me to have it the next day, or search for me in the school yard or classroom while I play. Easy life.  Many mothers do that. I understand that some do it because they just do not have the time to look for the item, or they think their child is too young to understand responsibility. It doesn't make the situation any better. Do you think this child will be responsible with a car or money when they are older if they have never had to worry because you will fix everything?

So here are just a few points in terms of how to solve it

1. Understand your child's character and see how you can teach them not to lose items: If your child is naturally disorganised, shouting will not help. Sometimes leaving the child without for a day, could help them see the importance of the item for them at school. 

2.The age of the child matters in terms of how you teach them not to lose items, but regardless of the age, they will still understand, it just depends on their character.

3. Ensure that your child understands the need for each item at school and that it is their responsibility to bring the item back daily.

4.  Do not look for the lost item while your child is just waiting or playing. Make the child look for the item as well. When they see the pile of jerseys in the lost and found box when they have lost their jersey, they will remember how frustrating it was to look through the pile, and hopefully will not do it again.

5. When you pick up your child, ask them to look in their bag for each item. If they have forgotten anything, they must go back and look for the item. Kids get annoyed by such things, they will quickly learn to not lose anything.

All of our actions as adults are all related back to our childhood. No grown person wakes up irresponsible or selfish, they have been like from when they were a child and were allowed to be like that by us the parents

The mistakes of a parent walk the streets, don't let your child be one of those, be a proactive parent. Our generation has no excuse for irresponsible parenting because we have access to so much information. So let's be conscious parents

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

How Early Can Children Be Taught To Do Chores?

So here is a shocker for some mums, children helping around the house is not a bad thing! I know parents who refuse to make their children clean their room, make their beds or pick up after themselves. They believe there is always time when they are older. How many of us can change our ways now that we are older? Who you are now is based on what you learnt as a child. If you learnt that you didn't have to pick up after yourself, why would you change the rules now? 

It is never too early to teach a child to help out, that is what I believe. I am not saying a 1 year old must make their bed, but there are things at each age that a child can do to help out around the house. The important this is TO MAKE IT FUN! For example, kids can learn to help set the table; each one would have a task to do, like someone picks the mats to be used, the cups to be used for that meal, it would be their 'design choice'.

Another point to remember is to KNOW YOUR CHILD'S TEMPERAMENT. Not all children will respond to chores being fun, some may just not want to participate. Find out what works for your child. A child may not like doing a chore with others, they like to have control over the task, so let them do it alone. Another child may do something and expect something in return. That one is a tricky one for me personally as I do not like rewarding children for such, I fear the child may view rewarding for responsibility in the wrong way. If your child is like this maybe reward with extra time to play outside, that way they are active and learning. You could reward with extra time in the bath even during bath time. 

MAKE THEM DO SOMETHING THEY CAN DO REGULARLY. Naturally if you keep doing something, it will stick, so if your child keeps doing the same chore, they will end up doing it on their own regularly or daily. So you need to make sure the task is something they can relate to based on their age. For the younger kids, picking up their toys after they play, putting their dirty clothes in the laundry basket, taking their plates to the kitchen after a meal, could be some things they could do. Older kids could be cleaning their rooms, helping with the dishes, helping with the laundry for example.

Teaching children to help out makes them better citizens and better people. 

• They learn to be responsible at a young age.
• They also get prepared for university when they have to live alone and look after themselves.
• It teaches them discipline at an early age knowing that they have a regular task to do and that it must be done.

So lets start getting our kids busy around the house at an early age, they will appreciate it a lot when they are much older

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed 

Tafi

#beingaparent

The Importance Of Extra Curricular Activities For Our Kids

Hi everyone! Its been 2 weeks since I last posted. Our show is changing times, so we were working on the new times which I will update you as soon as they are finalised. So sorry about that

So today we discuss the importance of extra curricular activities. Now we all know that finding time during the week to take our kids to these activities is hard, and we also feel bad when we do not give our children the chance to experience the various activities. What is important is that you at least try one activity that they enjoy, and here are some reasons why:

1. They develop their social skills and learn to work in a team outside of their comfortable environment ie their school friends

2. They learn to develop other skills outside of academics. Many universities and colleges look to see what other activities your child has done outside of academics, to show that they have some balance 

3. They are active. Keeping kids active boosts their metabolism and improves blood circulation. It also improves stamina, mental alertness and improves the energy levels 

4. It teaches time management. Kids learn to plan their days when they know they have homework and activities to do before they get to bed. At a young age, a child learns time management which will benefit them when they grow up

5. Stimulates creativity. The arts, music, writing, all stimulate the creatives juices in a child's mind. They start to look at life differently, and learn to be more creative in their solutions

6. Boosts self esteem. Not all kids are gifted academically, but they are gifted in other sports or activities. Giving them time to explore what they are great at, helps them feel more confident and thus believe they can achieve other things.

7. You help discover a hidden talent your child has. If you do not explore, you will never know what your child is good at. Try what you can

8. Stress reliever. Ok, ok the word 'stress' may not apply as seriously to children, but exam stress can get much for our little ones. An escape to what they enjoy doing can help keep them calm and happy.

I am sure there are more reasons but these are the few that I thought were most important

I hope this has helped in some way 

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

Is A Child Better Off To Be Born In A Marriage Brought About By Pregnancy?

Families are now formed in different ways; traditional, blended, arranged, and some because of pregnancy. In our culture, its not a good image to have a child out of wedlock, so some couples will end up marrying because it is what they know is expected. There are those that will have been dating and fell pregnant sooner than they expected, and then there are those once off situations where you do not have feelings for this or even know them at all or well enough. Yes, that happens. 

It makes sense that the elders would want to have the couple marry, but what about the environment it is creating for the child they are going to raise? Is this child going to grow up seeing love or seeing regret? Is it the right thing to do to marry because you are pregnant?

I asked some people who said they didn't see the problem if the couple loved each other. It happened unexpectedly but they were going to marry anyway. One lady said it is important for the couple to not regret the pregnancy as it will define their relationship, they will feel forced and trapped and thus not build on the relationship.  Even in pregnancy a child can feel the rejection, and once the baby is out, the environment can affect their character. If a child feels like they are the reason these two people got married, it will create a sense of not being wanted or loved. 

Children are born out of non-traditional situations and some turn out good and some come out with some hang ups and anger, but that can happen with those born out of traditional situations. The reason why people should marry is because they love each other and they want to be together. If you do not love and respect your partner, you cannot show your child how to love and respect other people. We become what we are exposed to.  Your child may grow up to believe that marriage is not about love, but it is about doing the responsible thing, or it is the next stage in a person's life that must be done. It does not involve a relationship or being happy. Depending on how you handle the marriage, if either of you step out of your marriage and your child finds out, your child could possibly think that you make your own happiness outside of your marriage. Is that what you want your child to believe?

If your have made the decision to marry because of pregnancy, then embrace it and be happy. Both of you need to discuss why you are doing it, and if it is not because you love each other, then at least make sure you respect each other and the union and the decision you have made to raise this child as a married couple.

Children pick up on body language and they know when people are pretending to love each other. You cannot fool a child, and it would mean fooling this child till they die or you die. That is a lifetime commitment. Can you commit to pretending for that long and realising that you will be caught out by the child at some point in their life? It is a big risk.

So if not handled right, marrying because of pregnancy could lead to the following:

- A child not feeling wanted

- A child having the wrong perception of marriage

- A child with low self-esteem

- A self destructive child because they do not feel wanted

- A rebellious child

- A loner of a child

As the parents, if you decide to marry because of pregnancy make sure you:

- Really talk about it and understand why you are both doing it

- Respect each other as individuals and as the parent of your child

- Respect the union, do not show you are unhappy to everyone around you including your child

- Both put the child first. You came together for the child to have a stable home, so make that your aim no matter how you feel

- Try create a friendship, and eventually it could lead to love. I have seen many instances where people grow to love each other overtime. Others love intensely and drift apart overtime...so there really isn't a set formula 

I am not saying people should not marry, but please marry for the right reasons. This is a lifetime commitment. Commit for the right reasons

A baby does not keep people together.

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent