Types of Parenting Styles and How To Identify Yours

This topic really struck a nerve with me because I always used to read styles of parenting looking at it from a parent's point of view, not the view of a child, who really is the important person in all this.  I always tell my friends to pick a parenting style that works for them because we all have to do what we can handle. Now I think I have to change my advice and tell people to choose a style after understanding its effects on our children in the long term.

So on the show, we briefly discussed each style and its effects.  The information below we got from Developmental Psychology at Vanderbilt

Authoritative

ü  High expectations that they have of their children,

ü  This type of parenting creates the healthiest environment for a growing child, and helps to foster a productive relationship between parent and child.

• Does your child’s day have structure to it, such as a planned bedtime and understood household rules?
• Are there consequences for disrupting this structure or breaking the household rules?
• Does your child understand the expectations that you have for their behavior, and are these

expectations reasonable?

• Do you have a healthy and open line of communication with your child? That is, does your child feel that they can speak to you about anything without fear of negative consequence or harsh judgment?

One of the most important traits to emulate in the authoritative parenting style is the open communication style with the child.

Neglectful

ü  The most harmful style

Consider the following:

• Do you care for your child’s needs—emotional, physical, and otherwise?
• Do you have an understanding of what is going on in your child’s life?
• Does the home provide a safe space for the child where they can share their experiences and expect positive feedback rather than negative or no feedback?
• Do you spend long periods of time away from home, leaving the child alone?
• Do you often find yourself making excuses for not being there for your child?
• Do you know your child’s friends? Teachers?
• Are you involved in your child’s life outside the home?

Neglectful parenting is damaging to children, because

ü  they have no trust foundation with their parents from which to explore the world.

ü  children who have a negative or absent relationship with their parent will have a harder time forming relationships with other people, particularly children their age.

Permissive

ü  Another potentially harmful style of parenting. These parents are responsive but not demanding.

ü  These parents tend to be lenient while trying to avoid confrontation. The benefit of this parenting style is that they are usually very nurturing and loving.

ü  This lack of structure causes these children to grow up with little self-discipline and self-control. Some parents adopt this method as an extreme opposite approach to their authoritarian upbringing, while others are simply afraid to do anything that may upset their child.

• Do you not have set limits or rules for your child? Do you often compromise  your rules to accommodate your child’s mood?
• Do you avoid conflict with your child?
• Do you have a willingness to be your child’s best friend rather than their parent?
• Do you often bribe your child to do things with large rewards?

• Other damaging effects of permissive parenting include:
• insecurity in children from of lack of set boundaries
• poor social skills, such as sharing, from lack of discipline
• self-centeredness
• poor academic success from lack of motivation
• clashing with authority

Authoritarian

ü  Strict parenting

ü  parents who are demanding but not responsive.

ü  Authoritarian parents allow for little open dialogue, expect children to follow a strict set of rules and expectations.

ü  They usually rely on punishment to demand obedience or teach a lesson.

• Do you have very strict rules that you believe should be followed no matter what?
• Do you often find yourself offering no explanations for the rules other than “Because I said so?”
• Do you give your child few choices and decisions about their own life?
• Do you find yourself utilizing punishment as a means of getting your child to do what you ask?
• Are you reserved in the amount of warmth and nurturing you show your child?

Children of authoritarian parents are prone to having

ü  low self-esteem,

ü  being fearful or shy,

ü  associating obedience with love,

ü  having difficulty in social situations, and possibly misbehaving when outside of parental care. 

  https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2013/12/types-of-parenting-styles-and-how-to-identify-yours/


 I hope this will also make you think of your current parenting style and if you need to change it to make your child more confident 

Till next Monday...be happy

#beingaparent