Some of the reason parents have a favorite are the sex of the child, the child may have similar interests as the parent, the child may remind the parent of a favorite relative. Sometimes a parent can reenact a sibling rivalry from their childhood without knowing it.
So some of the effects on the favored child may be:
- A failure to empathise or have morals as an adult. They believe they are invincible and people must appreciate who they are, due to the favored treatment they received as a child
- As adults they do not believe that rules apply to them. They have always been given concessions and believe again that they are invincible
Effects on the unfavored child are:
- Low self esteem due to the fact that they grew up trying to be seen or heard, seeking affection and not receiving it. They feel as if they are undeserving of love and thus attract partners that make them feel they must work for their affection
- They may have low aspirations and may suffer from depression as they may feel they were not worth much to their parents as they were growing up
What is important as a parent is to realise that you have a favorite, and to try and not make it so obvious to the children. Allow your children to express to you how they feel. Do not brush it off or shut them up because you do not want to discuss the issue. How you see things and how your child sees things can be very different, and it is very important to realise that and let them say how they feel.
More things to think about and consider as a parent....sigh
Till next Monday...be happy
#beingaparent
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