Monday was horribly cold in the studio and we had the aircon on!! Patience teased me that I had my whole wardrobe on, even though I still felt cold!! Winter is NOT for me!!
But I warmed up as we started discussing how parents live their lives through their children. Some of us grew up with regret that we did not get to fulfill our hopes and dreams, and thus we force our children to achieve them for us. It becomes a selfish motive, our own motive. But what about your child's interests? When do those matter? The danger we face is not allowing our children to be who they are and let them discover what they want to be. They end up doing what you want or rebelling and achieving nothing sometimes or not having your support
If you have a confident child and you have a timid, shy child, the confident one may be strong enough to fight your demands, while the timid one will just go with YOUR flow and end up disliking the sport/course/career path, which isnt fair. Imagine living your life doing a job you have no passion for, all because you were too scared to confront your parents? That doesnt seem fair at all. Let your child be who they want to be. Like the poster said, you had your chance, but it is gone now.
I shared on the show that I know someone who did medicine because their parents wanted them to be a doctor; they graduated, handed the achievement to the parents, then went back to school to be an accountant...can you imagine the years wasted? The exams and practicals they had to do, all to please their parents.
Patience raised a really great point on Monday, she said sometimes children need guidance and as a parent you should guide them. But how do you know when its too much? For me, if my child is not enjoying what she is doing, I stop. The moment she says no, its over. That however is different with academics I think. It all depends with what it is. Some courses your child will need to do for the future, maybe in that case, they do not have a choice. Nowadays parents are more open to non-conventional career paths. I remember any career in music was a no no growing up, but now people are appreciating that it can make money (GOOD MONEY WHEN DONE WELL EVEN!!). What you would need to do is research the career path, the good institutions that give that course, and work with your child to achieve the best for them.
With parenting, there isnt really a procedure manual on how to raise them; the important thing is to know what you are trying to achieve, how you get there is up to you. All I want are happy, loving, healthy, environment conscious, self-confident children that will make this world a better place, and I pray with my method of parenting, I achieve it
Till next Monday...be happy
#beingaparent
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