Nuggets from 2017

                                             

It has been an interesting year discussing the various topics around parenting. On a personal level I learnt alot. Being a parent you learn ON THE GO, literally, and each child is different. Preparing for our Monday talks got me to look at the people around me alot more, and look at how they raise their children. I also analysed my own children more, and how my parenting has defined who they are. It was also nice sharing experiences with Patience, who is the parent of an older child to my own. 

As we come to a close, I just though to share a few key points that we discussed in the various topics that we discussed this year:

1. Put your child first! 

- Do not be selfish, do not use your child to get your way, do not ignore your child's need/ neglect them

2.  Be Alert!
In this world of technology, be alert at all times as to what your child is doing,watching/exposed to 

3. Know who your child interacts with

- Some children are allowed to watch anything/ get anything they want...It may not be to your child's best interests

4. Accept the uniqueness of your children

- Do not compare your child to anyone else. Your child is special and must be loved in their own special way.

5. Do not have favorites!

- Noone wants to be the child that was not favored, and noone wants to be around the bratty child that gets their way

6. Be cautious of your parenting style

- Research well to understand the pros and cons of the way you choose to parent. The repercussions may only be seen when they are older

7. Your child must know there are boundaries

- Every child wants to know they are loved. If you allow a child to do whatever, whenever, they could rebel and act out to get your attention, hoping you will tell them no. 

8. Do not overcompensate by spoiling

- Children need love and time, not material things

9. Tell your child you love them as many times in a day as you can

- This boosts their self-esteem and makes them more confident in all they try achieve

10. Do not ignore learning disabilities

- You need to know how to deal with them and how to help your child. Do not be that parent in denial

11.  When there is a crisis in the home, your child feels it

- Children that bully, that fight, that act out at school, that shy away, that do not eat or eat alot, are crying out for attention. If you are fighting with your spouse, your spouse doesnt come home, or you are divorcing, do not assume that your child does not see and understand. The acting out may not be just a 'difficult child'

12. SHOW AFFECTION TO YOUR CHILD AND ENCOURAGE THEM ALWAYS

- It makes such a big difference to their character

The love of a parent is the first love that a child knows...always remember that and always cherish that 

I hope you will have a wonderful end to 2017 and a beautiful start to 2018

Till NEXT YEAR, I pray you stay well, stay blessed and fill your homes with love and happiness every day, every hour

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

Blended Families

This is a type of family that is becoming so common nowadays with the rate of divorce in Zimbabwe. It is also a type of family that can go wrong really quickly because noone has really taken the time to understand what it means and what it involves. It is not an easy one to build unless you are both in sync with your partner in terms of how you define your family.

"A blended family or stepfamily forms when you and your partner make a life together with the children from one or both of your previous relationships" (helpguide.org)

Just looking at that definition, I see so many elements that affect this union, that people need to be aware of when they get together. You have the children, you have the exes, you have your partner's parenting style and your parenting style. Each of these if not understood and handled well, could affect the success of your blended family.

So let's look at each element:

1. The children

• These children may have hopes that their parents will get back together, so they could get into this family with resentment toward the new parent. You have to be sensitive to that, aware to it, and not take it personally
• Your partner will have a close bond to their child that you cannot break and should not break. Your aim is to ensure there is no favoritism
• A child that lives with you full time is different from a child who lives with you sometimes, or some days and lives with the other parent the other times. The rules you set may be difficult to implement
• The children from both sides have to learn to adjust to living together. This may take time or it may be instant, or it may never work. Your level of influence on this relationship may be limited because they have to develop it on their own
• The age of the children when you form your family makes a major difference. Children below the age of 10 will adjust easily. They just want a happy situation and will have the attention of their parent due to their age. They are happy if they do not lose their parent's attention. Between 10 and 14 the children will have a better understanding of what is happening and may resist the new family.  They are also quite sensitive and reserved with their feelings. Over 14, the children may not be as involved in the new family and will keep to themselves.
• Boys versus girls react differently. Boys are protective of their mothers, so they may warm up to the new mom much later, and they may feel they are the man of the house to the new dad. Girls are close to their fathers, and may thus fight for their father's attention with the new mom and also warm up to the new dad overtime.

2. The exes

• There is the ex that is very involved in the child's life. The rules you may want to set in your new family may  require a good relationship with the ex or complimenting  parenting styles
• Respect will make it easier for you to handle the ex. Whether you get along or not, respecting each other will make your new family even better

3. Parenting Styles

• When you start dating, it is important to understand your parenting styles. If you are both parents, it makes it easier to see how you can relate because you have practical experience. If one of you is not a parent, its really wishful speech how you would intend to parent, because this could change once you are married and a full time parent overnight.  

• Speak about your boundaries and no-go areas when it comes to what you allow in your new family 
• Also speak about having no favoritism. Children should be treated the same

Each of these are important in any relationship, but especially in a blended family

• Respect
• Communication 
• Patience
• Love
• Boundaries 
• Rules
• Unconditional Love 
• A sense of humor

Every family member will need time to settle into the new family, and it would be nice if everyone changed at the same time, unfortunately it doesnt happen like that. And it is important to know that someone can be ok with the union today, but upset with it tomorrow, and that is normal

It doesn't matter how a family is formed, we have limited control over it, what is important is to create a happy, STABLE, family for the children. Play your part to focus on the children and to ensure they grow up happy and stable.

Till next Monday

Stay Blessed!

Tafi

#beingaparent

Reference: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/step-parenting-blended-families.htm

Boarding School Or Day School? That Is The Question...

It is so tough for me to think of not being involved in my child's homework. Even when I have had to travel, I would call sometimes to find out how she is doing, but the nice thing is I managed to get her into a routine, which helped and reduced my anxiety. The school run and extra activities keeps me so busy! But I actually enjoy it because I get to spend time with her and watch her progress. It does get tiring I will not lie. Balancing work and the extra-curricular activities makes me think boarding school would be more convenient, but only for that reason. I would want to watch them grow every day.

Some parents prefer boarding school and there is nothing wrong with that. Both boarding and day school have their pros and cons, and what is important when you make your decision is the happiness of your child.

So lets look at the pros of both:
PROS OF DAY SCHOOL
- You are involved in your child's growth at school
- You have a close relationship with your child
- You can determine the activities your child does

PROS OF BOARDING SCHOOL
- You do not have to stress about school run
- Your child matures and becomes more responsible
- Your child will have life-long friendships because of the amount of time the children spend together
- Your work life does not disturb your child's school programme/routine

And now the cons:
CONS OF DAY SCHOOL
- You have to have a flexible job to be able to attend everything
- Some extra activities require you to take the children all over the city for those activities
- You might 'baby' your child by doing everything for them because they are at home

CONS OF BOARDING SCHOOL
- You miss out on your child's growth
- You might not be as close to your child as you would like
- You may be at the school every other weekend to support your child's matches or events

I am sure there are more pros and cons for each. We just discussed a few on the show. We did realise that it also depends on the parent. Patience could handle her child going to boarding school, but I couldn't, and it doesnt mean that any of us loves our child any less based on our choice

Next week we will discuss which age/grade you would send your child to boarding school

Good luck with the decision dear parents

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent 

Is It Possible To OVER-Boost A Child's Self-Esteem?

The mistakes of a parent walk the streets of the world. Who your child becomes is a product of your parenting, how they act, think, speak and live. Remember, our children do as we do, they copy what they see. Its tough to read, but its important to realise and thus correct your actions as early as possible.

Have you ever met an adult who thinks they are invincible, untouchable, always right? They are annoying because you can never relate to them. The arrogance and the 'know it all' makes it difficult to have a conversation, people ignore or avoid this type of person.

Have you ever met that teen that is reckless and doesnt care? He loses things, he does not respect authority, he can wreck a car or a bike. In all these scenarios, the parent will come rush in and apologise for his behaviour or replace the car or bike within days.
 
Have you ever seen that child in the playground who goes around pushing/hitting other kids and the mother comes rushing to protect him and apologise on his behalf? A few minutes later, he does it to another child and the mother rushes and does the same thing.

Each of these scenarios can have different reasons why children do it, but directly or indirectly, knowing or unknowing, you are giving your child a false idea of who he is. You are telling your child 'You are better than anyone and anything, and do noone can tell you otherwise. I will always be there to fix it.'  Patience actually said its a thin line between spoiling and boosting self esteem, which is so true. Each of these could also be seen as spoiling a child, which you are. It may seem confusing because someone may say this is not a self esteem issue, it is self-confidence/arrogance, but its a very thin line between the two.

 Self-esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self.

 It is good to tell a child that they are great, that they can do good, that they are the best, but we have to make sure that we are not telling our children that they are invincible and untouchable. Being an over-protective parent over our children's actions makes the situation worse. Teach your child to be responsible over his actions. A child believes who he is through what you tell him he is.

 Lets be aware of what we tell our children about themselves and our actions toward our child's behaviour. Our children are smart, and can manipulate our feelings remember that, and always know they are ALWAYS watching what we do

Let's create the children we do not have to worry over

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi 

#beingaparent

When Is The Right Time To Introduce Your Child To Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend?

When you have children, your focus moves from yourself to your child (well that's what we hope). Whatever you do is now about how it will benefit your child or make your child a better person. I saw a quote that says 'A child will follow your example, not your advice', so whatever you do, know that your child is watching and learning.



What are the reasons people introduce their children to their partners? Here are some reasons are thought of:

• Because they are in love and believe this is the person they will marry
• Because they want to see how this person is with their child
• Because they see nothing wrong with it
• Because they want their child involved in everything they do

Introducing a boyfriend/girlfriend to your child is quite scary for the child. Depending on the age and maturity of the child, they react differently, and here are some reactions I have thought of:

•  Because your child loves you and does not want to upset you, they will accept this person and hide their true feelings from you, but react badly in other ways;
• The child could genuinely be ok with this new addition to your life;
• The child could resist and hate this new person because they believe they are the cause of their parents' break up;
• The child could resist or dislike this new person because they see this person as taking away your attention from them;
• The child could be confused for a bit, not understand what is going on, but then react later in a negative way. 

Patience and I couldn't decide when would be the best time, so we thought of a few

• When you first meet the person
• When you see it is getting serious
• When they have met your family and they approve
• When you are engaged

It is important to not introduce your child to each and every partner, because they will look at relationships based on what they grew up seeing

This poster says it best. 

At the end of the day it is a personal decision, but I just hope you take your child's feelings into consideration, because they are the most important. 

Children carry their childhood into their adult lives; let's aim to make positive childhood memories to make positive and happy adults.

So many dynamics to parenting, but its always better when you share what you are going through and ask for advice

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent


 
 

The Role of A Step-Parent

The rate of divorce in Zimbabwe is so high, for a number of reasons. The unfortunate victims of the break up are the children. They move from two parents in 1 home to two parents in two different homes.  Then they face an extra parent in their lives should their parents remarry...its alot to handle.  When the exes start dating other people, its all fun and games because it is just the two of you, till you get serious, then children are involved...automatically you are an INSTANT PARENT. I wonder how many of us when we date those with children, actually sit back to think about the long term? Can you love someone else's child 100%? The main point I want to emphasise is you are not there to replace the other parent, but to work together.

So what role do you play in the child's life? What determines your role? There are two dynamics that a step parent can face:
1. The other parent is not involved in the child's life
2. The other parent is super involved in the child's life

#1 is easy on the child and the step parent because you and your partner make the decisions in the child's life, and your child can develop a relationship with you with no guilt or influence

#2 is the most common that I have seen.  It is hard for EVERY PERSON INVOLVED. The parent wants to be involved and will have a say in alot. Each person involved is playing a power game in most cases, which does not benefit the child. There are a few success stories that I have heard of (very few) where all the parents work well together and are focused on making the child happy. Most situations are so messy, you can see the child is so stressed and tired most of the time.

So as the step parent, maybe think about these questions:
1. Are your motives to help the child transition from the break up?
2. Are your motives to please the child or to please your partner? 
3. Are your motives to keep the relationship between the child and their parents, and not break the relationships?
4. Can the situation be civil? Can you be the 'United Nations' of the situation?
5. Are you trying to replace the other parent?
6. Can you handle blending parenting styles and involving the child's relatives from the other parent?
7. Can you separate roles?

Then there is also this dynamic:

• Coming into the marriage with your child and your partner doesn't have
• Coming into the marriage with no children and your partner has
• Coming into the marriage with children from both sides

With each scenario, how will you parent?
- Would you be lenient with your partner's children or the same rules apply?
- Would you say 'when in our home its our rules' or would you say 'let us not disrupt how the child was raised and stick to what is there'?

It is not an easy situation at all, but what is important is that we meet the needs of the child. The transition from 2 to 3 or 4 parents is not easy. This child now has more than 2 parents to please. I love the poster on this post, it truly shows where the focus should be, on the child.


Its a tough world we live in, can you imagine what it feels like for the child?

I hope this has helped someone. Respect is what is important, and with respect comes peace and love

Please feel free to share your comments on our blog and on the Jus' Kidz Facebook page

Till next Monday

Stay blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

Neglecting Your Child

It seems every Monday, my wifi just fails me! I can never post on time or even post what we are going to discuss on the show. So again I am so sorry dear readers, this has been posted late again! I hope you go to listen to us though at 1250 on ZiFM.  Even send in Whatsapp messages during the show to share your thoughts.

The role of a parent is so hard because you always have to watch your actions. Your child may interpret your actions in a different way, and thus react in a way that you didn't expect.  So many people assume when we talk about neglect, we are referring to physically leaving your child. What we may think is not neglect, may be what children see as neglect, and they may react in different ways. 

Neglect can be felt by a child when:
- The family grows (a new sibling is born)
- A stay at home parent starts working
- A single parent starts dating/gets married
-  Generally any changes that could take away your attention from your child 

Looking at these events, they aren't out of the ordinary things that a parent can be said to be neglectful, but guess what, our kids see it differently, and each child reacts differently. Some children adjust to change very well, and some do not.  Here are some ways a child can react to change in attention from a child:

- They could become very antisocial and keep to themselves
- They could rebel at school or at home
- They could become violent
- They could start bullying others
- They could turn to the wrong groups of people for attention
- They could regress in their development

Naturally when a child becomes rebellious, we all just assume that the child is being a child, and we ignore it. But sometimes there is a deeper reason to the action, and it is important to be attentive to our children. I think this topic is really important because the effects of neglect filter into adulthood, and that is when we see children failing to trust in a relationship, failing to relate to others, always trying to be centre of attention or just being bullies. Even as adults we long for attention, so can you imagine how a child feels when their parent doesn't have that time for them anymore??? 

I would advise parents to talk to their children alot more and know their child's level of sensitivity. When time with your child is taken away by work, social life, a partner or another child, make sure you walk them through it. Like I said, some adjust fine, and others need their hand held and walked through the change

THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP IS THAT OF A CHILD AND THEIR PARENTS.  No other relationship on earth matters. If that relationship is not managed well, then nothing in the child's life will go well to be honest. When we watch movies or meet up with people and hear their stories, the main issue always revolves around their relationship with both parents or a parent. So the more time you spend with your child, the better they will be when they are older, don't you think?? 

Hopefully I will post next week straight after the show, fingers crossed

I hope you have a great week 

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

Preparing Yourself and Your Child For Exams

It is exam time! This is the time where you see parents taking away privileges from their children to motivate them to study, or promising them treats and trips once the results come out if they pass. I have heard the craziest requests and promises and I just laugh. Being a parent makes you try anything and everything to get your child to do something. You just have to laugh!

So I am feeling the stress even though my child is still in primary. Im feeling pressure to make sure she remembers everything and I fear I am going to put pressure on her to read whenever she has free time! This is the problem with us perfectionist moms, we just want the best and thus push these poor children to be the best. With this show, I am also learning and also catching myself when I realise I am pushing my child for my own selfish needs and not embracing her for who she is and accepting her abilities.

What we all want is for our children to do the best they can and to be the best in their own abilities. Exams however make most of us panic and lose our minds and want to push our children. We forget our child's strengths and weaknesses and now expect them to just excel in it all...being a child at this time of the year is not fun I am sure...lol

So here are some points that I think could help; some of the points may be late for this year, but you can apply them next year:

1. Be calm as the parent. If you panic, your child will panic.

2. Understand your child's style of learning. I have a photographic memory, my sister has a logical way of learning, she has to understand processes and methods to understand. I have a friend who reads two days before an exam, otherwise she forgets if she reads any earlier. Others require pictures or practical examples to remember a concept. These are a few ways of how people learn, therefore to be effective, you need to know how your child learns and remembers.

3. Create a regular routine for your child to revise their work throughout the year. It all depends with your child's strengths and needs, but the idea is for your child to get used to a routine of revision, and this will reduce the pressure during  exam time to cram.

4. Do not make your child cram! It has no long term benefit

4. Try and include some of what they learn in their every day activities. For example, if they are learning about money, when you go to the store, you can make your child work out how much is needed and how much change they should expect. In the car you can have your child create a story with what she sees in the car or outside, this will stimulate their creative mind. You could also make them tell their siblings a bed time story that they create. Role play some of the subjects like history, or environmental science. Some subjects are practical and you can make your child remember by doing some practical work.

5. Do not revise the morning of the exam. Your child will just panic if they do not know the answer. Some children like to be tested the morning of the exam, and others cannot. Again it all depends on the child.

6. Rewarding for success can motivate or give the child a false idea of success. Your child may pass to just receive the reward, but will not have learnt anything. Push your child to understand the subject more than to win the reward.

It is never to early to get your child ready for exams. Exams in primary school may not be as serious, but making your children prepare for exams seriously, will prepare them for high school. ROUTINE!! ROUTINE!! ROUTINE!! It is important! I have to emphasise it again


I hope some of these points help. Make learning at home fun!

Wishing you all the best for you and your children this exam time!!

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

In This Day And Age Of Technology, Should A Parent Be A Child's Friend Or Discipinarian?

I believe being a parent in the 80s was so much easier than being a parent now. If you needed to communicate, it was via a landline or writing a letter.  ZTV would start at 330, and the shows were Sesame Street and Rainbow and Paddington Bear... I miss those shows actually. As a child, access to information was very limited. 

Being a parent of the 21st century is so hard. The TV shows, access to the internet, cellphones, emails, video games, there is just too much information available to our children 24 hours a day. No matter where you take your child, they are exposed to something. It could be the song  being played in a supermarket, or a music video being played in a store, or a video being played on someone's cellphone, or the activities at a birthday party.  No matter how much you try to protect your child at home, they will still be exposed to the world and its madness.

So what do you do? Do you allow your child to be exposed to it all and keep the relationship open, or do you protect them at all costs?

As we spoke about it on the show, I found myself struggling to answer the question. Do I walk with my child through all the madness of the world and let her explore and pray that she is open with me with everything she sees and hears? Or do I just protect her from everything and scare her if she explores the internet?

I think the following:

• You need a balance, you allow a child to explore, but be open with them and guide them. 
• You also have to be flexible to change. There are some things that I believe a parent needs to be strict and some situations where a parent needs to be flexible.  Parenting is always involving
• If you do not guide your child, someone else will. If you lie to your child, they will trust someone else to tell them.
• You need to set boundaries for your child to know what they can/cannot do. These boundaries help guide your child when they are away from you. Hopefully your child will know not to watch adut movies or sit and search certain sites on the internet. 

It is tough to control and protect what our children are exposed to, but it is important to be aware and alert as to what our children at all times. We just need to be on our toes all the time, and be our child's friend and protector.

It is tough being a parent of the 21st century, really tough.

I hope you all have  a great week!

Till Next Monday,

Stay Blessed!

#beingaparent

When Is The Right Age For Your Child To Start Dating?

If anything, this topic was the most hilarious for me, due to the reactions of so many mothers. They got emotional and started panicking at the thought, some nearly cried! hahahah..Is it because you started early or you KNOW what you did back then???? mmmmmm

Due to my years with the magazine, I have now learnt that parenting style are different for everyone and I respect that; what works for me, does not work for the next person. That is why I posed to the question to be more personal; what is it for YOUR child.

The nice thing about our show is that we can discuss views from being a parent of girls and being a parent of boys. It was interesting to see Patience get so emotional about her son introducing girls to her, or going for ice-cream with a girl! I thought only mothers of girls have such reactions. Clearly not!

When I thought about it, I considered some of these questions to be important when one makes their decision:

1. How mature is your child to understand the concept of dating?
2. How open are you with your child?
3. Do you know your child's friends? Are they 'forward'?
4. Would you start talking about boys before they are 13 or when they turn 13?
5. Would you want to meet your child's friends of the opposite sex?
6. Would you want to meet each and every girlfriend?
7. Would you allow your child to have their girlfriend/boyfriend over at your house?
8. Would you supervise dates?
9. What age would you talk about contraceptives and sex?
10. Is your fear  because you do not trust your child? What is the cause of your fear? 
11. Are you able to 'stomach' the openness of your relationship with your child? Do you really want to know EVERYTHING?


Those are the questions I thought of when I thought of my kids. I definitely do worry, but my fear is because I am not that street wise, so I cannot equip my children with all the possible scenarios that she could encounter when she starts dating, so it is fear of the unknown. Now with technology, I could miss ALOT in my child's life, but I hope she will be comfortable enough to talk to me about anything, and I hope I will be strong enough to sit and listen.  I know that I would struggle with #11, I thought of switching confidante roles with my sisters and friends, but I would still be as crazy in my reactions with their children. So I wish my kids good luck (lol)

Some of the answers we got were:
- NEVER (lol)
- When the child is 30
- When the child can pay his rent and look after his girlfriend should she fall pregnant
- When the child is 25

Well clearly the age is not anyone under 25, which is unrealistic (lol), so to our dear listeners and readers who are in denial, brace yourselves, your children are going to date much earlier than that age....so get your seat belts on and prepare for the ride!!

I would just like to know how our parents were so calm when we grew up? How did they not fret???


What a journey being a parent is in this world of technology!!

Till next Monday


Stay Blessed

#beingaparent

To Spank or Not To Spank

This is such a tricky subject, you never want to come out like you are advocating that children should be hit.  I use the word 'spank' because of the type of discipline we were discussing. Something like a light smack on the bum is what I mean.

It was an interesting discussion with Patience, because we shared how we were raised, and back then if you were naughty, you were spanked. In the end, you didn't need to be spanked, you just KNEW that you would get in trouble if you did anything naughty, and you could even sense your parent's eyes on you, even from far away, even if you were in another town and they were home!...hahaha. The power of that eye..lol. Its as if our parents were born with the same philosophy because our stories were so similar!

But nowadays, there are parents who go the other extreme and physically abuse the children, that's not right. I do not see any lesson a child would learn from that trauma. Patience shared how she spanks her child, but she tells him why she is doing it so that he knows the reason and knows not to do it again. I think that makes more sense, but that is if we are speaking of the same kind of spank.  

I posed the question to our listeners if they were spanked as kids and if it helped them become the person they are, and if they spank their kids. Many of our listeners said yes to all three of those questions. As Zimbabweans, I guess most of us saw the benefit and it shaped us. Many quote Proverbs 13:24 'Whoever spares the rod hates their children,but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them', reason being we are generally a Christian nation, and that is what our parents followed. But times have definitely changed...

I remember if you were naughty, no matter where you were, if an adult told you to stop, you would stop. It didn't matter if you knew them, if they were just walking passed, what they said made was as powerful as if it were your parent who said it. There was that respect for elders. But now, we just have this mentality that if it is not my child, it is not my place to say anything. Why is that? You also have parents who would shout at you if you even tried to tell their child off. Why are we so protective and defensive? Why do we feel we need to protect our children so much? Does it help shape their character? Does it help them learn to defend themselves? Does it not make them feel untouchable and invincible? I do worry...what is so different about this generation versus how we were raised? Were our parents wrong in how they discipline us? Were they wrong to not defend us? Are we wrong to step in when someone's child is in the wrong?

Just something to think about. 

Personally, I spank my kids, but very rarely, because they know now to ask for things, to be respectful and they know we discuss when they are wrong, and they know not to do it again. But that only happened because I set boundaries from the start. 

Parenting styles are different and ways of disciplining are different. The important thing is to NOT BE ABUSIVE I BEG OF YOU!! If you see a child being abused, please report them to CHILDLINE (DIAL 116) immediately.

Sensitive subject, but it was still interesting to share and hear what other parents think of the subject

It is a tough job being a parent for sure. We all just hope our efforts are raising good children
.

My sincere apologies for the really late post...life happened and technology did its thing....sigh

Till next Monday

Stay Blessed

#beingaparent

What foods may be bad for your mouth?

How many of us parents live on the 'Do as I say, not as I do' statement? I am sure there are a number of us for certain rules we set for our kids.  I think it defines us as the parent and not the child when it comes to certain things, like I can sleep late but my children need to sleep early. That example makes sens,but not when it's things like junk food, chocolate, fizzy drinks etc...now we are just being naughty...hahahah

Food is definitely where we use that alot! And this time I have decided to show YOU the parent, what certain foods do to YOUR teeth. By doing this, you will be more cautious of what YOU eat, and thus what you give your children...this sounds quite simple but clever to me!! hahah

It is so important to know what you are eating, benefits of that type of food, and the effects on our teeth. I think we all need a dental pack in our handbags like you carry make up, because you just need to keep brushing!

Anyway here is a summary of what I found...enjoy and I hope you learn something:

What foods may be bad for your mouth?

 

• Carbohydrates: Chips, bread, pasta, or crackers can be as harmful to the teeth as candy.
• Sticky, chewy foods: Raisins, granola bars, jelly beans, caramel, honey and syrup stick to teeth and make it difficult to wash the sugar away.
• Sugary snacks: Cookies, cakes or other desserts contain a high amount of sugar, which can cause tooth decay.
• Gum and candy: When chewing gum and eating candy, the sugar coats teeth, which can lead to cavities.
• Carbonated soft drinks: Regular and diet sodas contain phosphorous and carbonation, which wears away the enamel on teeth.
• Fruit or vegetable juices: These beverages tend to be high in sugar, which can damage tooth enamel and lead to decay.

Choose foods from the five major food groups: fruits, vegetables, breads and cereals, milk and dairy products and meat, chicken, fish or beans. Avoid fad diets that limit or eliminate entire food groups, which usually result in vitamin or mineral deficiencies.

 

Always keep your mouth moist by drinking lots of water. Saliva protects both hard and soft oral tissues. If you have a dry mouth, supplement your diet with sugarless candy or gum to stimulate saliva.

 

Foods that cling to your teeth promote tooth decay. So when you snack, avoid soft, sweet, sticky foods such as cakes, candy and dried fruits. Instead, choose dentally healthy foods such as nuts, raw vegetables, plain yogurt, cheese and sugarless gum or candy.

 

When you eat fermentable carbohydrates, such as crackers, cookies and chips, eat them as part of your meal, instead of by themselves. Combinations of foods neutralize acids in the mouth and inhibit tooth decay. For example, enjoy cheese with your crackers. Your snack will be just as satisfying and better for your dental health. One caution: malnutrition (bad nutrition) can result from too much nourishment as easily as too little. Each time you eat, you create an environment for oral bacteria to develop. Additionally, studies are showing that dental disease is just as related to overeating as heart disease, obesity, diabetes and hypertension. So making a habit of eating too much of just about anything, too frequently, should be avoided.

Here are just some of the minerals and nutrients your body needs to stay healthy:

• Calcium. Your teeth and jaws are made mostly of calcium. Without enough calcium in your diet, you risk developing gum disease and tooth decay. Calcium is found in many foods and liquids, such as milk, yogurt, cheese, beans, and oysters.
• Iron. Iron deficiency can cause your tongue to become inflamed, and sores can form inside your mouth. Iron is found in many foods, including liver and red meat. Other iron-rich foods include bran cereals, some nuts, and spices.
• Vitamin B3 (niacin). A lack of vitamin B3 can cause bad breath and canker sores in the mouth. To boost your B3 levels, eat chicken and fish.
• Vitamins B12 and B2 (riboflavin). You also can develop mouth sores when you do not consume enough of the vitamins B12 and B2. Red meat, chicken, liver, pork, fish, as well as dairy products like milk, yogurt, and cheese, are good sources of vitamin B12. Vitamin B2 is found in foods like pasta, bagels, spinach, and almonds.
• Vitamin C. Too little vitamin C will lead to bleeding gums and loose teeth. Sweet potatoes, raw red peppers, and oranges are great sources of vitamin C.
• Vitamin D. It is very important to consume enough vitamin D because it helps your body  absorb calcium. A diet lacking or low in vitamin D will cause burning mouth syndrome. Symptoms of this condition include a burning mouth sensation, a metallic or bitter taste in the mouth, and dry mouth. Drink milk, and eat egg yolks and fish to increase your vitamin D intake

(source: knowyourteeth.com)

'An apple a day keeps the doctor away', right? How?  Here is what I found:

How Is An Apple Good For Your Teeth?

An apple helps both your teeth and your all-around oral hygiene. Think of it as a natural toothbrush. The fruit, that’s rich in fleshy fiber, helps scrub your teeth, gums, and tongue. The skin of the apple especially, which is extremely high in fiber, can scrub against your teeth and help remove stains and fight plaque.

Furthermore, Apples are great for getting rid of bad breath. That natural fiber helps remove the traces of plaque and residue that harbor in the back of your tongue and throat that create the bad breath. The acidity of the apple helps kill any bad bacteria that may cause the bad breath as well.

How Is An Apple Bad For Your Teeth

How is an Apple Bad for Your Teeth?

The Toronto Star claims from a study published by UK’s Journal of Dentistry, that an apple’s acidic structure can be harmful to your teeth. This is true; foods high in acidity can damage the dentine in your mouth. Dentine is the layer of tooth just under the enamel. The acidity of an apple can eat away at your dentine and damage your teeth.

As well, apples have high sugar content, and we all know how bad sugar can be for your teeth. Furthermore, apple juice, along with most fruit juices, is highly acidic as well and can be harmful to that dentine.

Don’t Stop Eating Apples!

However, though apples can hurt your teeth, their benefits greatly outweigh the risk. Not only can apples help our teeth, they can help regulate our blood sugar, are low in calories and are a great source of dietary fiber. The negative effects of apples are easily preventable and mostly depend on your apple eating habits. If you want the good benefits of apples without the negative impact, follow these steps:

1. Eat your apple in a single sitting. Don’t graze an apple. The longer the acidic elements are in your mouth, the more harm they can do.

2. Eat apples with other snacks. Munching on a piece of cheese, milk, or some bread can help neutralize the apple’s acidity. Especially if its a food high in calcium.

3. When finished with an apple, swish your mouth with water. This will help release and flush away the acidic elements that are hiding between your teeth.

4. Wait about 30 minutes before brushing your teeth after eating an apple. If you brush too soon after, the sugars from the apple will scrub off your enamel. Use water to flush as much out before brushing.

(source: watertowerdentalcare.com)

http://www.watertowerdentalcare.com/blog/food-for-thought/are-apples-good-or-bad-for-your-teeth/

http://www.knowyourteeth.com/infobites/abc/article/?abc=w&iid=315&aid=3805

I hope you have learnt something new and can apply it to your kids

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

#beingaparent