This is such a tricky subject, you never want to come out like you are advocating that children should be hit. I use the word 'spank' because of the type of discipline we were discussing. Something like a light smack on the bum is what I mean.
It was an interesting discussion with Patience, because we shared how we were raised, and back then if you were naughty, you were spanked. In the end, you didn't need to be spanked, you just KNEW that you would get in trouble if you did anything naughty, and you could even sense your parent's eyes on you, even from far away, even if you were in another town and they were home!...hahaha. The power of that eye..lol. Its as if our parents were born with the same philosophy because our stories were so similar!
But nowadays, there are parents who go the other extreme and physically abuse the children, that's not right. I do not see any lesson a child would learn from that trauma. Patience shared how she spanks her child, but she tells him why she is doing it so that he knows the reason and knows not to do it again. I think that makes more sense, but that is if we are speaking of the same kind of spank.
I posed the question to our listeners if they were spanked as kids and if it helped them become the person they are, and if they spank their kids. Many of our listeners said yes to all three of those questions. As Zimbabweans, I guess most of us saw the benefit and it shaped us. Many quote Proverbs 13:24 'Whoever spares the rod hates their children,but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them', reason being we are generally a Christian nation, and that is what our parents followed. But times have definitely changed...
I remember if you were naughty, no matter where you were, if an adult told you to stop, you would stop. It didn't matter if you knew them, if they were just walking passed, what they said made was as powerful as if it were your parent who said it. There was that respect for elders. But now, we just have this mentality that if it is not my child, it is not my place to say anything. Why is that? You also have parents who would shout at you if you even tried to tell their child off. Why are we so protective and defensive? Why do we feel we need to protect our children so much? Does it help shape their character? Does it help them learn to defend themselves? Does it not make them feel untouchable and invincible? I do worry...what is so different about this generation versus how we were raised? Were our parents wrong in how they discipline us? Were they wrong to not defend us? Are we wrong to step in when someone's child is in the wrong?
Just something to think about.
Personally, I spank my kids, but very rarely, because they know now to ask for things, to be respectful and they know we discuss when they are wrong, and they know not to do it again. But that only happened because I set boundaries from the start.
Parenting styles are different and ways of disciplining are different. The important thing is to NOT BE ABUSIVE I BEG OF YOU!! If you see a child being abused, please report them to CHILDLINE (DIAL 116) immediately.
Sensitive subject, but it was still interesting to share and hear what other parents think of the subject
It is a tough job being a parent for sure. We all just hope our efforts are raising good children
.
My sincere apologies for the really late post...life happened and technology did its thing....sigh
Till next Monday
Stay Blessed
#beingaparent
No comments:
Post a Comment