Co-Education Versus Separate Education

I am just going to jump straight into this one and say, I really do not know which one is better. I went to an all-girls school from primary school to high school, only at university did I learn with boys. After the discussion today, we all concluded that it is good to be in co-ed when you are in high school, primary school, not so much as you are not as conscious of who you are. BUT at the same time, you may feel pressure to be someone else when you are around the opposite sex due to peer pressure or assuming a certain behaviour is what is expected of you.

I looked up articles on this and found one by Chitra Reddy, which I thought made sense. Here are her points from her article:

Advantages of Co-Education System

A good education system is said to be progressive only if it respects both the genders and giving the same education under a single roof.

Co-education institutions help in laying the foundation for both the genders to learn how to co-exist with respect and dignity. Here are the few points that explain the advantages of co-education system.

1. Develops mutual respect:

Co-education allows both the genders to mingle with each other and to know how to co-exist with respect.

By this process of getting mingled under one learning institution, they develop mutual understanding towards each other. And there is no place of hesitation or partiality among the genders when it comes to performing activities like cultural, academics or sports.

People get to know how to respect each other and their emotional level. You get to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and develop the ability to accept them as they are.

2. Helps to overcome the fear of opposite gender:

In general there are lot of differences in behaviour of both the genders which brings in fear and hesitance in striking a conversation, this fear can be for a boy or a girl.

This kind of shyness, hesitation or fear can be overcome when they are put up in a co-education system where they will be compelled to talk and create a friendly environment with out any fear.

It is very natural phenomenon where both the genders have to be together to face the world, your senior could be a male or a female and you would have to create a friendly environment and must be at ease with the opposite sex.

Hence, co-education would help them to know the opposite sex better, creating a comfort zone where the communication is easier.

3. Healthy competition:

Competition is always an essential part in any kind of challenges in life be it personal or professional. And especially in education it is good to have a healthy competition among the peers which lets you learn how to cope with your failures early in life no matter who the winner is.

When it comes to opposite genders it would be more competitive because of your ego, and this is one good way to improve the personal standards so that you don’t get personal on every failure.

So, co-education systems nurtures challenges among the opposite genders in a healthy way, that helps you to maintain your dignity. It also educates you to face your failures and learn from them rather than turn them into revengeful act.

4. Develops self-esteem among the genders:

Self-esteem is very essential and has to be built in good way and the best place to start with it is the learning institutions where you can face all types of personality early in your life.

Co-education learning centers help to lay the early foundation for maintaining dignity and self-esteem.

Many institutions give extra attention to students who feel that they are less worthy than the others and offer counseling sessions that help in building up their personality and making them stronger to face the world.

Co-education helps both the genders to respect each other’s self-esteem and build a confidence about their ownself, helping them to step out in the open without feeling intimidated.

5. Encourages the survival in future:

Survival in future for any of the gender in today’s world can happen only when we learn to co-exist.

From working together to making a marriage successful is all about team work and the effort given by both male and female. Team building activities in early stages help both the genders to learn how to co-exist and this can only be provided in the co-educational system.

By this way, co-education is an essential part in education system which pushes the genders to work together and blend with each other to survive in this brutal world.

6. Character enhancement:

A recent study reveals that children tend to behave very decently in a civilized manner in the presence of other gender provided they have been in this scenario for long.

This is very essential in an institution setup as well as it will have a huge impact in their personal front for the people of opposite sex to behave well with each other.

Hence, co-education plays an important role in character building. They emphasize on the fact that they have to respect and listen to the opposite sex as they listen and respect one from their own.

7. No space for discrimination:

Quarrel among the peers is very common be it at home, workplace or educational institutions. This may happen due to no proper understanding, misconceptions, miss-communications, uncomfortable, no respect for other sex and ignorance.

All this can only be improved when there is a good understanding between the two. This is very much reduced in a co-education system as they understand better each other and hence, reducing the bad behavior and harsh reactions from each other.

So, co-education system reduces any kind of discrimination and increases respect towards the opposite sex.

8. Promotes a controlled environment:

When both the genders are put up in same environment, there are more possibilities of following good ethics, disciplined use of language, and proper dressing etc.

You would know what the needs are of the opposite sex and how they behave helping you to avoid unfavorable situations.

Co-education supports good decent environment with more value based education emphasizing on respect and love for each other.

Disadvantages of a Co-Education system:

Every establishment has pros as well as cons and hence we need to look at every angle before we decide in which direction we have to go.

Though there are many advantages of having a co-education system, our society still puts forward few inhibitions which do not accept the concept. Here are few disadvantages which is commonly expressed about co-education system. They are,

1. Chances of distractions could be more:

Teenage is a very dangerous phase in anybody’s life. It is very common among the teens to undergo psychological changes when they are in company of the other gender and feel attracted towards them.2

And especially, where they are in a process of defining their career path, it could cause lot of distractions and might disturb their knowledge gain period.

Hence, parents often wonder if co-education institutions would be right choice for your kin to learn or whether they should avoid co-education system.

2. Unethical activities:

Crimes have become common when both the genders are put up in the same education environment.

There might be lot of characteristic changes among boys and girls. When they mismatch, some ferocious kids tend to commit various harassments, physical toughness, and emotional stress to people around.

The weaker lot can suffer at the hands of the opposite sex pushing them into depression and other psychological problems. Hence, people hesitate to support co-education system to ensure that their kids are in a safe environment and this is especially for the girls.

3. More involvement in personal feelings:

As the saying goes, opposite things attract each other, it applies to the humanly world also. Attractions among the opposite genders are the most commonly used excuse to avoid co-education system.

It is natural to get physically attracted to the other gender at a crucial age of life where curiosity takes over your heart. So, parents feel co-education is a risky task to take forward as they can have an easy access to distractions within the institutions.

An emotional involvement at an early stage can come with lot baggage that can force a child to deviate from their goals.

4. Unwanted arguments and issues can create an unhealthy environment:

Both the genders come from different school of thought and hence contradiction of thoughts is common among boys and girls. If the arguments are not handled in a proper behavior then it can sometimes might lead to unwanted arguments and might divert from their studies.

It can lead to lot of complaints and parents making the rounds at the school for the improper behavior from their kin. This will also make the teachers get troubled a lot because of their behavior and an irritated teacher can never give their 100% towards teaching.

This is what worries any parent, when they come to know that the issues in the school are costing his or her kin’s studies and hence pushing them to select a convent rather than co-educational institutions.

There are both advantages as well as disadvantages for any kind of education system including co-education system. The real good social environment will nurture positives of the society and help in dealing with the negatives in a dignified manner.

She has interesting points and I can see how both options have good points and bad points. In the end its up to you the parent to make an informed decision and choice

Till Next Monday

Stay blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

Source: https://content.wisestep.com/advantages-disadvantages-co-education-system/

Are Fathers Taking Their Role Seriously?

Parenting involves two people, not 1. The mother is not the only person that should raise a child, children need a father too. Its a topic we discussed  before, but its a topic that is still important. 

Parenting is not something you can choose to do once you have a child. It is a full time job, your responsibility to guide that child through life. Life is hard and can get complicated sometimes, but you cannot quit, you cannot walk away from your responsibilities. 

We asked some men if they feel they are taking their role seriously and here were some of the responses:

The bad:

• I cannot provide for my child because it is a tough economy
• I am going through so much right now, I just cant take on that role. 
• My wife doesn't let me do things with my child, so I leave it all to her to do
• My role is to provide, so as long as they have what they need, I have done my part
• Girls need their mothers more when they are young, I will take over when they want to get married
• I don't think a child needs a father at a young age, plus I do not know what I am supposed to do with a young child
• I feel women just want to do it all for the children and tend to make us feel like we are not needed, so I just let her be and do what she asks me to
• My boys will be fine, they are at an all boys school, so they will learn manly skills from their peers and teachers

The Good:

• I am the man I am because of my dad, so I will do the same for my children and teach them the values that I was taught
• I have chosen to be an active father because I grew up with a father who was too busy for me, so I know what that feels like and I want to parent differently
• I came from a broken home and my father chose to stay away because he couldn't handle my mother. So I have decided that whatever the situation, I will be there for my child
• That's my child, and no one will raise that child but me 

Its a mixed bag of responses, with a few responsible ones, but that is the society we are living in now. 

The truth is that every child needs their father. You look at adults who didn't have a father/mother in their lives and you can tell that some of their character issues are due to that absent parent. 

To the fathers out there,

• the age of your child doesn't matter, they need you 
• the sex of the child doesn't matter, they need you
• the issues around your relationship with their mother doesn't matter, they need you
• your financial position doesn't matter, they need you
• the activity they do at school doesn't matter, they need you there

A child learns love, security, respect, confidence from their fathers more; be that parent that builds a great human being, get involved

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

Would You Want To Know Who Your Child Is Dating?

It is always interesting to hear what my co-presenters have to say on the topics we discuss. Before I even finished explaining why it is important to know who your child is with, he was adamant and said 'it is not necessary'. It was quite an entertaining discussion today. As much as my heart agrees with Tich, because we would rather not know that our little angels are dating, I have to be real and say, you have to know.

I remember growing up, the concept of parents meeting your boyfriend/girlfriend was truly a foreign one, plus culturally it wasn't something that was accepted, and I completely understand. Being a young teenager you aren't really serious about a guy/ a girl; it was just the excitement of saying you have someone, so it wasn't necessary. But nowadays, kids are doing a lot more at a young age, so you have to know where your child's influence is coming from.  

So why is it important to meet your child's boyfriend/girlfriend?

- It helps you understand your child more, what they are attracted to in the opposite sex

- It helps you keep tabs on your child in terms of their social life. As your child gets older, their friends tend to be the people they turn to and trust, not you. So if you were close before, you might find your child becoming more distant

- You are able to maintain that close relationship that you had with your child as they were growing up

- You are able to teach your child how to handle a relationship as they are in it. We tend to want to give children a run down on the dos and dont's of dating at a stage that we are comfortable, and sometimes its a bit too late and most times its a bit too much for a child to remember all at once. As they are walking through the dating stage, walk with them and advise them with each stage that they reach

It is not the most comfortable 'thought' of meeting your child's boyfriend/girlfriend, but rather you go through it with them than avoid it till its too late. Help your child make the right choices in life and for a son to learn at a young age how to treat a woman and your daughter how she should expect to be treated

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

As A Step Dad, What Role Would You Want To Play In Your Step Child's Life?

We always seem to forget that men have a say too in our child's upbringing, especially when it comes to blended families. It is now more common to see men marrying women who already have children from a previous marriage. Most times the father of the children is not involved, so the dynamics are easier; decisions are made by the mom and step dad. But what happens when the father is involved? How are decisions made? Should the two men know each other? Should the mother be the person who speaks on their behalf? 

I know of someone who deals directly with the father of her children, and the two of them make the decisions. It has its own challenges, but it seems to work for them

I know someone else who says the two fathers choose to deal with each other especially when it comes to the finances. There seems to be less friction for them there because the mother of the child is not involved and the discussion is very specific, its about the money. Visitation and access is stipulated and everyone knows their place

Another scenario is where all three parties meet and work together in terms of making decisions for the child. Now this one I noticed worked because each person put their feelings aside and said this is about the child, and for the benefit of the child, nothing else. 

What we deal with in these situations is one, two or more of the following issues:

- Anger toward the end of a relationship

- Control: both men want to feel their position is known and appreciated

- Respect: both men want to be respected due to their role in the child's life

These feelings should be considered when you date someone who has their own children

- Do I want to be involved in the decision making?

- Can I afford to contribute or pay the full amount for fees?

- Can I handle dealing with another man and his demands on his child?

- Can I handle my wife speaking directly with her ex husband/partner?

There is no perfect way for everyone, each family has its own dynamics and what works for one family may not work for another, and what works initially may become complicated later, and the approach changes

It is definitely not an easy situation when you love someone but they have their 'situation'. But nothing is impossible when there is COMMUNICATION, LOVE AND RESPECT

At the end of the day, what is important is to do what is best for the child. Put that first, and it will work out fine 

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

The Importance Of Being Loving Towards Each Other Around Your Children

Its two days before Valentine's Day!!! I have been seeing roses and chocolates on display more in the stores now. Hopefully all will be bought in preparation for that wonderful day of love!!!

Many parents assume that children learn things only when they are older, which is when they will start to give them advice. But that is not the correct thing to do. Children learn so much from a young age, and up to 7 years, they will be forming their character based on what they are exposed to. This is why they say it is important to invest time with your child in the early years of their life so that they learn as much as they can from you.

Even at that young age your child is forming his/her opinion about what love is, how to show love and how to behave in a relationship and marriage. Without realising it, they become what they see when they are older, which is why you find understanding someone's past or family dynamics is very important when in a relationship. 

How you treat your wife is how your daughter will believe she will be treated, and how your son believes he should treat his wife. How you treat your husband is how your daughter will believe a man should be treated and how a boy believes he should be treated. History just repeats itself in our children and our grandchildren.

If you as a father just arrive home, watch TV and go to bed with no conversation, that is what your children will believe should be done. If you show that your role is just to provide, then your son will believe that is his role as a husband. If as husband and wife you do not eat meals together, you watch TV in separate rooms, and when in the same room you hardly speak, then your children will believe that is normal. The expectations couples have in a relationship are based on what they grow up seeing or are exposed to. I grew up seeing laughter and affection, celebrating special occasions together and with family, meals were eaten together at the table, so naturally I would expect to see the same in my relationship because that is all I know. 

Valentine's to me, is a day that couples are forced to show their love. Wives are expecting flowers at work and at home, chocolates on her desk, candle light dinner and more, and men are on the other side wondering why they are doing it...hahahah...but it is still an important day regardless, its a day you show your appreciation to your partner. It would be great that your children see you planning all this for their mother, or even helping plan it, or helping mum pick a lovely dress for dinner. It not only creates memories, but it shows them the act of love.

But it shouldn't only happen that one day or on Christmas or birthdays, it should happen all year round. I am not saying spend money all the time, but show love in different ways:

- Make your partner coffee because they like it

- Send them a song that you both used to love

- Give them a peck in the morning or whenever you see each other

- Hold hands

- Sit together on the coach

- Share your day with each other and the kids

These small acts are what you used to do before when you were dating, now you are doing it more, and you never know, it could ignite something that was lost before, and it could become a part of your day always. 

You would be proud to know that you set standards for your daughter in terms of how she should be treated and how she should treat her husband, and your son would know how to treat his wife and how to handle a relationship. It requires both mom and dad to teach these values to their children, so do not sit back and let your partner do it all.

Remember that your actions reflect in your child. Be the parent that you would want to see in your child

Happy Valentine's to you all!!

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent