Its two days before Valentine's Day!!! I have been seeing roses and chocolates on display more in the stores now. Hopefully all will be bought in preparation for that wonderful day of love!!!
Many parents assume that children learn things only when they are older, which is when they will start to give them advice. But that is not the correct thing to do. Children learn so much from a young age, and up to 7 years, they will be forming their character based on what they are exposed to. This is why they say it is important to invest time with your child in the early years of their life so that they learn as much as they can from you.
Even at that young age your child is forming his/her opinion about what love is, how to show love and how to behave in a relationship and marriage. Without realising it, they become what they see when they are older, which is why you find understanding someone's past or family dynamics is very important when in a relationship.
How you treat your wife is how your daughter will believe she will be treated, and how your son believes he should treat his wife. How you treat your husband is how your daughter will believe a man should be treated and how a boy believes he should be treated. History just repeats itself in our children and our grandchildren.
If you as a father just arrive home, watch TV and go to bed with no conversation, that is what your children will believe should be done. If you show that your role is just to provide, then your son will believe that is his role as a husband. If as husband and wife you do not eat meals together, you watch TV in separate rooms, and when in the same room you hardly speak, then your children will believe that is normal. The expectations couples have in a relationship are based on what they grow up seeing or are exposed to. I grew up seeing laughter and affection, celebrating special occasions together and with family, meals were eaten together at the table, so naturally I would expect to see the same in my relationship because that is all I know.
Valentine's to me, is a day that couples are forced to show their love. Wives are expecting flowers at work and at home, chocolates on her desk, candle light dinner and more, and men are on the other side wondering why they are doing it...hahahah...but it is still an important day regardless, its a day you show your appreciation to your partner. It would be great that your children see you planning all this for their mother, or even helping plan it, or helping mum pick a lovely dress for dinner. It not only creates memories, but it shows them the act of love.
But it shouldn't only happen that one day or on Christmas or birthdays, it should happen all year round. I am not saying spend money all the time, but show love in different ways:
- Make your partner coffee because they like it
- Send them a song that you both used to love
- Give them a peck in the morning or whenever you see each other
- Hold hands
- Sit together on the coach
- Share your day with each other and the kids
These small acts are what you used to do before when you were dating, now you are doing it more, and you never know, it could ignite something that was lost before, and it could become a part of your day always.
You would be proud to know that you set standards for your daughter in terms of how she should be treated and how she should treat her husband, and your son would know how to treat his wife and how to handle a relationship. It requires both mom and dad to teach these values to their children, so do not sit back and let your partner do it all.
Remember that your actions reflect in your child. Be the parent that you would want to see in your child
Happy Valentine's to you all!!
Till Next Monday
Stay Blessed
Tafi
#beingaparent
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