The theory is that a little girl marries someone like her father, and that is because that is her first love. Her father is the first man to show her any form of affection, or to define what love is to her. A father's love is unconditional, incomparable and protective. The presence or absence of a father affects girls and their adult decisions in various ways.
A friend of mine was listening to the show and sent me a message saying this is a very sensitive subject, and it definitely is. So many people assume a daughter needs their mother more especially in the earlier years of their life, which is not really true. A child needs both parents because she learns from both parents.
Why does a daughter need a father in her life?
- To show her love. A girl will see her worth and what she deserves based on how her father treats her. If the father is absent and spends very little time with their daughter, she will believe that is normal and that is what she deserves. If a father is involved in their daughter's life a lot, spends time with her and shows interest in the things she loves, she will expect the same from her partner.
- To show a woman should be treated. The relationship between husband and wife also influences the views a daughter has of love. If a father is abusive or hurtful toward his wife, a daughter will assume that is how love is shown and how they should expect to be treated.
- To boost her self confidence. Our role as mothers is to encourage our children, and we do it so naturally, as we are nurturers. Our children expect us to attend every play, every sports match, every event and support them. No matter how much we try, we can never fill the role the father must play. It makes single parenting even more complicated because the father is not present, but is expected to be. When fathers are present, and loving, their daughters develop a strong sense of self and are more confident in their abilities.
- Improved social traits. A daughter who has a great relationship with her father is able to relate well with males as well as females in their lives.
- Persistence trait. According to researcher Laura Padilla-Walker, "fathers who are most effective are those who listen to their children, have a close relationship, set appropriate rules, but also grant appropriate freedoms." The older you get, the more approachable the mother is versus their father because of the rules set by the father. I was forced to stick to the my father's rules and be accountable for my actions.
Fathers are role models in so many ways, socially, emotionally, financially, academically and romantically. The perception of men to a little is defined by her relationship with her father and is therefore very important.
May the fathers out there understand their role and take it very seriously. Whether married, separated, divorced or co-parenting, spend as much time as you can with your child and realise that the decisions she makes in her life are impacted by your actions
Till Next Monday
Stay Blessed
Tafi
#beingaparent
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