Where I thought a 3 year old was harder to speak to, this group has shown me it will prove to be the hardest
At this age, kids are much closer to their friends and they share information and knowledge; the more you know, the cooler you are. So if you haven't established an open relationship with your child by this age, you can guarantee that their friends are keeping them up to date!
So just to help you understand who you are dealing with:
- Preteens and teens begin to spend more time with peers and less time with family.
- Preteens and teens begin to form their identity by exploring different clothes, hairstyles, friends, music, and hobbies.
- Moodiness is common as youth struggle to search for an identity.
- Preteens and teens push limits that adults put on them to assert their independence
- Girls are more self conscious and
You turn from being the best parent ever, to becoming the 'uncool' parent; their friends know more and they tryst their friends' opinions.
This age group experiments, succumbs to peer pressure very easily if they do not have the guidance. This is the age group that can get the concept of sex and their bodies completely wrong if you do not address it correctly.
No matter the age, it is important to keep giving your children the same message, but also realise the stage they are in their lives socially. We may blame the school, church or extra lessons that expose our children to 'naughty' kids, but we must also accept that our own actions have an impact on what a child learns/is exposed to.
As a parent you must look at:
- The friends you have, what do they believe and how do they treat their children?
- Your own beliefs
- What you watch in front of your children
- What you say in front of your children
If inappropriate material is not supposed to be seen by your child, don't watch it on your phone when your child is there, don't speak about such in their presence, and don't keep it lying around, or take them to places where it is allowed. Your actions should speak louder than words, children learn by your actions. I have a friend who doesn't allow her children to have sweets/juice, they must have fruits and water. The rule doesn't only apply in her house and in their lunchboxes, they are not allowed even at their relatives' homes. So now her daughter naturally orders water wherever she goes and is confident to turn down a glass of juice if offered, because she knows it is not allowed and it is a clear rule in her head. That is what we need to do with our children, to empower them with clear rules that apply wherever they go. If they see someone watching an inappropriate video, they know to walk away
We cannot always be with our children 24/7 but we must raise them to know that wherever they are, they will be alright.
- Know your child's friends
- Know your child's interests
- Know your child's character
- Spend time with your child
- Speak openly with your child
Do not let your child become a victim of abuse or peer pressure. Empower them with wisdom and the confidence to love themselves just as they are.
Till Next Monday
Stay Blessed
Tafi
#beingaparent
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