Stranger Danger. Child Abduction Awareness

It has been a scary two weeks in Harare, with reports coming in from schools that some adults are reportedly trying to lure students into their cars on school premises. The one boy alerted a staff member when a stranger came and told him that he was sent by the boy's mother to pick him up. Brownie points to the boy's mother for teaching him to not get into a stranger's car!!! This made me think, would my own children do the same or would they get into the car? The fact that I am not sure of what they would, scares me. It could have been my child on another day.

Is it the responsibility of the school or the parents or both?

I believe both the school and parents must teach the kids. It is important that the message is made clear to the children both at home and at school. I understand some schools have classes on safety which helps a lot, and complements what the parents teach their children.

How do we teach our children though about safety? I know I wrote 'Stranger Danger' as the title, but is it always a stranger that comes after our children?

I once had to pick up my friends daughter, and she said 'she will only go with you if you tell her the password', of which my friend told me what it was. She said her daughter tends to forget, and also is too trusting, so she wanted to see her reaction if someone she was familiar with was sent to pick her up.  Without even hesitating, her daughter jumped into my car once I told her I was sent, she didn't even ask for the password. It is not always someone your child doesn't know, it can be someone your child is comfortable around, and thus they won't have their guard up.  So always apply the rule even to your family members and friends

Here are some points that you can use when teaching your child:

1. Noone is exempt except mom and dad and immediate family. The rules must apply to all your friends and family.
• It seems harsh but it enforces the rule in your child's head that they must ask before they get into anyone's car. Try keep the list of permitted people short, it is less confusing for the child. 
2. Tell your child to ask the person who has come to pick them up, to call you so that you can confirm that you sent them. Make sure you speak to your child
3. If you use a driver, get their details and make sure they do not send someone else to fetch your child. If they do, they must inform you and your child must do the same as on point #2
4. Tell your child to report to the school or to the teacher immediately if someone they did not know came to pick them up
5. Tell your child to wait for you within the school grounds, and to wait with others, not alone.
6. Teach your child to never accept gifts from a stranger 
7. Tell your child to not stop and give directions to a stranger
8. They must always move around with someone and also let you know of their movements 

These points don't just apply at school but everywhere

Our children look to us for guidance, do not leave the responsibility to someone else.

Teach your kids to be safe. We are living in scary, dangerous times. 

Till Next Monday,

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

Should Boys Play With Dolls And Girls Play With Trucks?

The world is changing, and we are seeing a lot of things being considered to be normal or accepted, which were not before. Is it a bad thing that the world is evolving? Who says this way is normal? Who determines normal? I know a parent who lets her son play with tea sets and dolls, she says he must not see the difference in toys, he must play with all types of toys. I know another mother who refuses to buy her daughter tea sets and kitchen sets, she says it stereotypes the roll of a woman. So she buys her child the same toys as the toys she buys for her sons. Are they wrong to do that? 

The show was pretty interesting on Monday, Amard and Tich (my co-presenters) were on the definite 'NO'. They said boys should play with trucks and girls should play with dolls, BUT girls can also play with trucks, to empower them and prepare them for life.  Different rules for each sex??

A listener said you can't force a child to play with what you believe they should play with, this is because she bought certain toys for her child and naturally her daughter was drawn to the dolls. 

Another listener said they would never let their son play with dolls because it will make them soft, and men are meant to be tough and strong, and thus play with trucks. 

To be honest, the responses were not what I expected, Im actually not sure what I expected. But I did start to think, why do the rules and conditions change for girls? Why are parents more worried about the effects on their sons than the effects on their daughters? What are the fears parents have? Doesn't it depend on the child's character? My innocent thinking is probably because I am a mother of girls, so my fears are different.

Girls can definitely learn life skills from playing with trucks and tool sets. When they are older, they won't be afraid to change a tyre assuming they grew up learning how to change one. They will know how to use a screw driver, how to change a light bulb, how to fix a plug etc...right?

What about boys? Do they not learn any life skills? 

Personally I wouldn't mix the toys around, I would leave boys to play with trucks and girls to play with dolls. But I do wonder, for those men that ventured into becoming chefs, designing clothes and shoes, designing furniture and kitchens, becoming professional artists, where did they learn that from? The women who have become pilots, engineers, scientists, where did they learn that from?

I truly wonder....

Being a parent now I think is harder than when our parents raised us. There is so much to consider, so much our kids are exposed to, so much we need to know...




Till Next Monday

Keep reading, keep learning, keep your eyes open

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent