I think the first thing I must share with you all is that at a very young age, children understand alot about being a boy and being a girl. At the ages of and 3, children start realising their 'differences' from the other sex. Then between 3 and 5, you will find your children playing 'house' ie playing mommy and daddy or saying they have a boyfriend or girlfriend at preschool. From the age of 6, they have outside influences being their friends, cousins, TV, internet, that expose them to more about who they are as a boy/girl.
Now, having this background, you can see that from a young age, our kids are learning and absorbing. Whether we expose them to alot or not, they are still going to learn about who they are; therefore it is important to make sure that we teach our children early about who they are
Here are a few reasons why it is important to talk to them about who they are:
1. They are growing and learning, and you should be their source of information
2. It creates an opportunity to develop and open relationship with your child in preparation for puberty. Your child will feel comfortable enough to approach you with any question on anything.
3. Your child knows the importance of their body and their body parts. Therefore they will not allow anyone to 'disrespect' their body by touching them inappropriately.
4. It will prevent your child from being sexually abused by educating them. They will know who is allowed to see them naked and what parts are not allowed to be touched.
5. It helps you understand the maturity of your child. Some children are naive and some are really switched on. You can see what you can expose your child to and what they can handle
Sexual abuse is not done by strangers, it is done by people that your child knows. Depending on the relationship with your child, the abuser can either make it seem normal, or they can threaten them.
A child's self esteem over their body all depends on what they have learnt or seen growing up. If they have been told to be ashamed of their body, they may be vulnerable to abusers who tell them they are beautiful. If they grow up being over confident with their body and exposing parts of their body, they may be misunderstood as being loose and/or available. It is therefore important to find that balance for a child to respect their body and to love themselves. And it all depends on you the parent.
Next week we shall go into detail of how you have this discussion and what age.
Its a serious and uncomfortable topic, but its better to be safe than sorry
Till Next Monday
Stay Blessed
Tafi
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