Teaching Sex Education to 7 to 10 Year Olds

While researching around this topic I saw that some schools have a curriculum that they call 'growing up' or ''our bodies'', I found that to be a nicer way of approaching the subject.  The less awkward, the better for everyone, the parent and the child. It is such a tough subject, I actually feel quite uncomfortable talking about it because I picture myself having this talk with my children very soon....

Children between 7 and 10 are interested in how their bodies will change and how to handle friendships and bullies.  Here are some things should know by this age:

• They should also know what the role of sexuality is in relationships. 
• Children should know about the basic social conventions of privacy, nudity, and respect for others in relationships. 
• Children should be taught the basics about puberty towards the end of this age span, as a number of children will experience some pubertal development before age 10. 
• Children’s understanding of human reproduction​ should continue. This may include the role of sexual intercourse.

Peer pressure comes into play at this stage. Children may be pressured to 'try' things or experiment. If your child does not have the basic understanding of his/her body and knowing what is allowed and what isn't allowed, you will find your child being a victim of an experiment; they will feel the need to try certain things in order to fit in.

You will also find that some of the children nowadays develop faster than others; their body can start changing faster than their peers and they won't understand why. Not only will this confuse your child but it will also confuse their peers and make them curious. If your child isn't the one going through the changes, he/she will feel they have something wrong with them because they aren't changing. It is important to make sure your child understand what is going on and to embrace the changes, to be proud that they are changing and growing. For those that haven't started developing, they must be told their time will come and it will be at the right time.  Self esteem issues come into play here and it is important to let your child know that they are normal and loved and should not be ashamed of who they are.

So in a nutshell:

• Do not shut your child out or prevent them from asking questions,
• Teach your child to understand BOUNDARIES and PRIVACY with regards to their bodies,
• Teach your child about puberty,
• Aim to be your child's FIRST source for information 

Till next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

Teaching Sex Education to 3-6 Years Olds

It was definitely an uncomfortable conversation for me. Just saying the word 'sex' was sooo hard on radio. I was so conscious on parents who had kids in the car listening.  Patience found it so hilarous

So this age group is so innocent and straight forward, they ask it as they see it, they do not mince their words. 'Mommy what is sex?' 'Where do babies come from?" "Mommy why do parents kiss?'These guys are the hardest to speak to and to also lie to because they will remember what you said. You also have to be sure not to say too much or too little.  This is the first of many conversations you will have about this, so do it well. Here are some points:

1. Be honest. Explain in a way that you are able to build on the conversation as they grow. Do not be like Patience who suggested you tell them babies come from an egg and a seed, can you imagine what the children will be thinking when they see a tomato seed and or a sunflower seed, and they take an egg from the kitchen and try to make a baby??? No no no please...We did tease Patience on the show and one of our listeners even said that was a lame one...sorry Patience.  Maybe say babies come from a mom and dad who are in love. Make sure you emphasise that a baby is made out of love and that it is not just something anyone can do any time. 

2. Do not avoid the question. Answer the question and this will let your child know that they can ask you anything and anytime. You want to be their first preference for information and knowledge and that what you say is golden. This will avoid them being influenced by other children/parents/sources

3.Emphasise the importance of privacy. Your child should not see nudity as something that can be done anywhere around anyone. If your child walks in on you changing, do not scare them off and  shout. Hopefully you would have spoken to them about noone seeing them naked, so you remind them of this and that they shouldnt see you naked as well

4. Follow up on some of your answers to make sure they have understood. This will make sure you have answered what your child was really asking and it will also et your child know that you were listening and they can trust you and they can come and ask you something again.

Its a tough discussion and it is not something you can escape from, but you can and MUST do it right!

I hope this has helped someone out there

Till next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

#beingaparent

The Importance Of Teaching Your Child About Uderstanding Their Body

I think the first thing I must share with you all is that at a very young age, children understand alot about being a boy and being a girl.  At the ages of  and 3, children start realising their 'differences' from the other sex. Then between 3 and 5, you will find your children playing 'house' ie playing mommy and daddy or saying they have a boyfriend or girlfriend at preschool. From the age of 6, they have outside influences being their friends, cousins, TV, internet, that expose them to more about who they are as a boy/girl.

Now, having this background, you can see that from a young age, our kids are learning and absorbing. Whether we expose them to alot or not, they are still going to learn about who they are; therefore it is important to make sure that we teach our children early about who they are

Here are a few reasons why it is important to talk to them about who they are:
1. They are growing and learning, and you should be their source of information

2. It creates an opportunity to develop and open relationship with your child in preparation for puberty. Your child will feel comfortable enough to approach you with any question on anything.

3. Your child knows the importance of their body and their body parts. Therefore they will not allow anyone to 'disrespect' their body by touching them inappropriately.

4. It will prevent your child from being sexually abused by educating them. They will know who is allowed to see them naked and what parts are not allowed to be touched.

5. It helps you understand the maturity of your child. Some children are naive and some are really switched on. You can see what you can expose your child to and what they can handle

Sexual abuse is not done by strangers, it is done by people that your child knows. Depending on the relationship with your child, the abuser can either make it seem normal, or they can threaten them.

A child's self esteem over their body all depends on what they have learnt or seen growing up. If they have been told to be ashamed of their body, they may be vulnerable to abusers who tell them they are beautiful. If they grow up being over confident with their body and exposing parts of their body, they may be misunderstood as being loose and/or available. It is therefore important to find that balance for a child to respect their body and to love themselves. And it all depends on you the parent.

Next week we shall go into detail of how you have this discussion and what age.

Its a serious and uncomfortable topic, but its better to be safe than sorry

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

Managing Your Expectations Of Your Child's Teacher

Happy New Year everyone! Happy start of the term to all Zimbabwean parents! It has been a crazy start, but I am grateful yesterday it only rained much later in the day. It was a bright start to the term! Now we need the rain...lol

Grade 0, Grade 1, Form 1 are all the toughest years for parents. New school or first term at a formal school, we all have expectations for our children and from the teacher. We all want what is best for our child, but we also are not too sure who is supposed to take what role in raising our children. This is where a lot of parents get it wrong and have issues with the teachers.

Who teaches your child manners?

Who teaches your child respect?

Who teaches your child what is right from wrong?

To what extent is your child's performance the teacher's fault?

To what extent do you believe you should be involved in your child's schoolwork?

I heard a story of a mother who went to the teacher and said her child is rude and disrespectful and why hasn't she done anything about it? The teacher looked at the mother and said 'my job is to teach your child academically, not to raise your child for you'.  I had mixed feelings about it, I thought its partly true but I also thought, if my child is at school from 730am till 5pm, shouldn't the school teach the child some values? BUT at the same time, this is 1 individual looking after 27 - 40 children in a class, all with different cultures, backgrounds and rules; if I were her, would I be able to handle each child's needs and be sensitive to their upbringing? I don't think so. I would however ensure that each child has basic manners and learns respect, but to what extent I would instil it, I really do not know. It is hard being a teacher I think. Yes, the school has basic values and morals, but should the school discipline each child until they are in line, or should the parent also play a role? What happens when you have a parent that says stick to academics and leave discipline to me, what do you do then?

I think as parents we should remember the following things:

1. That is MY child and therefore my responsibility.

2. The school is there to do what I cannot do in terms of education and social skills.

3. I must play an active role in my child's education and not leave it to the teacher.

4. I must not expect the teacher to play my role as the parent. I chose that school (hopefully) for the reason that their morals and values are in line with what I want for my family, therefore I must complement what they teach.

5. I must be open as a parent to allow the teacher to approach me should my child be disrespectful or disruptive etc. (This helps the teacher to feel that you are willing to fix the problem and thus work with you to fix the problem)

These are just some thoughts we shared on the show, at the end of the day that is your child and it is important to know more about your child and get involved. Do not leave it all to the teacher

The school definitely has to handle issues that affect the performance of the children eg bullying, and I am not saying they must ignore or turn a blind eye, but it is something that you should not expect for them to solve alone.

WORK TOGETHER, FOR IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD, BUT YOU MUST BE ACTIVE IN RAISING YOUR CHILD

New Year, New Approach To How You Raise Your Children

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

Tafi

Disclaimer: These views are strictly the views of me as a parent. Nothing is set in stone to say you should follow my thoughts.