To Spank or Not To Spank

This is such a tricky subject, you never want to come out like you are advocating that children should be hit.  I use the word 'spank' because of the type of discipline we were discussing. Something like a light smack on the bum is what I mean.

It was an interesting discussion with Patience, because we shared how we were raised, and back then if you were naughty, you were spanked. In the end, you didn't need to be spanked, you just KNEW that you would get in trouble if you did anything naughty, and you could even sense your parent's eyes on you, even from far away, even if you were in another town and they were home!...hahaha. The power of that eye..lol. Its as if our parents were born with the same philosophy because our stories were so similar!

But nowadays, there are parents who go the other extreme and physically abuse the children, that's not right. I do not see any lesson a child would learn from that trauma. Patience shared how she spanks her child, but she tells him why she is doing it so that he knows the reason and knows not to do it again. I think that makes more sense, but that is if we are speaking of the same kind of spank.  

I posed the question to our listeners if they were spanked as kids and if it helped them become the person they are, and if they spank their kids. Many of our listeners said yes to all three of those questions. As Zimbabweans, I guess most of us saw the benefit and it shaped us. Many quote Proverbs 13:24 'Whoever spares the rod hates their children,but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them', reason being we are generally a Christian nation, and that is what our parents followed. But times have definitely changed...

I remember if you were naughty, no matter where you were, if an adult told you to stop, you would stop. It didn't matter if you knew them, if they were just walking passed, what they said made was as powerful as if it were your parent who said it. There was that respect for elders. But now, we just have this mentality that if it is not my child, it is not my place to say anything. Why is that? You also have parents who would shout at you if you even tried to tell their child off. Why are we so protective and defensive? Why do we feel we need to protect our children so much? Does it help shape their character? Does it help them learn to defend themselves? Does it not make them feel untouchable and invincible? I do worry...what is so different about this generation versus how we were raised? Were our parents wrong in how they discipline us? Were they wrong to not defend us? Are we wrong to step in when someone's child is in the wrong?

Just something to think about. 

Personally, I spank my kids, but very rarely, because they know now to ask for things, to be respectful and they know we discuss when they are wrong, and they know not to do it again. But that only happened because I set boundaries from the start. 

Parenting styles are different and ways of disciplining are different. The important thing is to NOT BE ABUSIVE I BEG OF YOU!! If you see a child being abused, please report them to CHILDLINE (DIAL 116) immediately.

Sensitive subject, but it was still interesting to share and hear what other parents think of the subject

It is a tough job being a parent for sure. We all just hope our efforts are raising good children
.

My sincere apologies for the really late post...life happened and technology did its thing....sigh

Till next Monday

Stay Blessed

#beingaparent

What foods may be bad for your mouth?

How many of us parents live on the 'Do as I say, not as I do' statement? I am sure there are a number of us for certain rules we set for our kids.  I think it defines us as the parent and not the child when it comes to certain things, like I can sleep late but my children need to sleep early. That example makes sens,but not when it's things like junk food, chocolate, fizzy drinks etc...now we are just being naughty...hahahah

Food is definitely where we use that alot! And this time I have decided to show YOU the parent, what certain foods do to YOUR teeth. By doing this, you will be more cautious of what YOU eat, and thus what you give your children...this sounds quite simple but clever to me!! hahah

It is so important to know what you are eating, benefits of that type of food, and the effects on our teeth. I think we all need a dental pack in our handbags like you carry make up, because you just need to keep brushing!

Anyway here is a summary of what I found...enjoy and I hope you learn something:

What foods may be bad for your mouth?

 

• Carbohydrates: Chips, bread, pasta, or crackers can be as harmful to the teeth as candy.
• Sticky, chewy foods: Raisins, granola bars, jelly beans, caramel, honey and syrup stick to teeth and make it difficult to wash the sugar away.
• Sugary snacks: Cookies, cakes or other desserts contain a high amount of sugar, which can cause tooth decay.
• Gum and candy: When chewing gum and eating candy, the sugar coats teeth, which can lead to cavities.
• Carbonated soft drinks: Regular and diet sodas contain phosphorous and carbonation, which wears away the enamel on teeth.
• Fruit or vegetable juices: These beverages tend to be high in sugar, which can damage tooth enamel and lead to decay.

Choose foods from the five major food groups: fruits, vegetables, breads and cereals, milk and dairy products and meat, chicken, fish or beans. Avoid fad diets that limit or eliminate entire food groups, which usually result in vitamin or mineral deficiencies.

 

Always keep your mouth moist by drinking lots of water. Saliva protects both hard and soft oral tissues. If you have a dry mouth, supplement your diet with sugarless candy or gum to stimulate saliva.

 

Foods that cling to your teeth promote tooth decay. So when you snack, avoid soft, sweet, sticky foods such as cakes, candy and dried fruits. Instead, choose dentally healthy foods such as nuts, raw vegetables, plain yogurt, cheese and sugarless gum or candy.

 

When you eat fermentable carbohydrates, such as crackers, cookies and chips, eat them as part of your meal, instead of by themselves. Combinations of foods neutralize acids in the mouth and inhibit tooth decay. For example, enjoy cheese with your crackers. Your snack will be just as satisfying and better for your dental health. One caution: malnutrition (bad nutrition) can result from too much nourishment as easily as too little. Each time you eat, you create an environment for oral bacteria to develop. Additionally, studies are showing that dental disease is just as related to overeating as heart disease, obesity, diabetes and hypertension. So making a habit of eating too much of just about anything, too frequently, should be avoided.

Here are just some of the minerals and nutrients your body needs to stay healthy:

• Calcium. Your teeth and jaws are made mostly of calcium. Without enough calcium in your diet, you risk developing gum disease and tooth decay. Calcium is found in many foods and liquids, such as milk, yogurt, cheese, beans, and oysters.
• Iron. Iron deficiency can cause your tongue to become inflamed, and sores can form inside your mouth. Iron is found in many foods, including liver and red meat. Other iron-rich foods include bran cereals, some nuts, and spices.
• Vitamin B3 (niacin). A lack of vitamin B3 can cause bad breath and canker sores in the mouth. To boost your B3 levels, eat chicken and fish.
• Vitamins B12 and B2 (riboflavin). You also can develop mouth sores when you do not consume enough of the vitamins B12 and B2. Red meat, chicken, liver, pork, fish, as well as dairy products like milk, yogurt, and cheese, are good sources of vitamin B12. Vitamin B2 is found in foods like pasta, bagels, spinach, and almonds.
• Vitamin C. Too little vitamin C will lead to bleeding gums and loose teeth. Sweet potatoes, raw red peppers, and oranges are great sources of vitamin C.
• Vitamin D. It is very important to consume enough vitamin D because it helps your body  absorb calcium. A diet lacking or low in vitamin D will cause burning mouth syndrome. Symptoms of this condition include a burning mouth sensation, a metallic or bitter taste in the mouth, and dry mouth. Drink milk, and eat egg yolks and fish to increase your vitamin D intake

(source: knowyourteeth.com)

'An apple a day keeps the doctor away', right? How?  Here is what I found:

How Is An Apple Good For Your Teeth?

An apple helps both your teeth and your all-around oral hygiene. Think of it as a natural toothbrush. The fruit, that’s rich in fleshy fiber, helps scrub your teeth, gums, and tongue. The skin of the apple especially, which is extremely high in fiber, can scrub against your teeth and help remove stains and fight plaque.

Furthermore, Apples are great for getting rid of bad breath. That natural fiber helps remove the traces of plaque and residue that harbor in the back of your tongue and throat that create the bad breath. The acidity of the apple helps kill any bad bacteria that may cause the bad breath as well.

How Is An Apple Bad For Your Teeth

How is an Apple Bad for Your Teeth?

The Toronto Star claims from a study published by UK’s Journal of Dentistry, that an apple’s acidic structure can be harmful to your teeth. This is true; foods high in acidity can damage the dentine in your mouth. Dentine is the layer of tooth just under the enamel. The acidity of an apple can eat away at your dentine and damage your teeth.

As well, apples have high sugar content, and we all know how bad sugar can be for your teeth. Furthermore, apple juice, along with most fruit juices, is highly acidic as well and can be harmful to that dentine.

Don’t Stop Eating Apples!

However, though apples can hurt your teeth, their benefits greatly outweigh the risk. Not only can apples help our teeth, they can help regulate our blood sugar, are low in calories and are a great source of dietary fiber. The negative effects of apples are easily preventable and mostly depend on your apple eating habits. If you want the good benefits of apples without the negative impact, follow these steps:

1. Eat your apple in a single sitting. Don’t graze an apple. The longer the acidic elements are in your mouth, the more harm they can do.

2. Eat apples with other snacks. Munching on a piece of cheese, milk, or some bread can help neutralize the apple’s acidity. Especially if its a food high in calcium.

3. When finished with an apple, swish your mouth with water. This will help release and flush away the acidic elements that are hiding between your teeth.

4. Wait about 30 minutes before brushing your teeth after eating an apple. If you brush too soon after, the sugars from the apple will scrub off your enamel. Use water to flush as much out before brushing.

(source: watertowerdentalcare.com)

http://www.watertowerdentalcare.com/blog/food-for-thought/are-apples-good-or-bad-for-your-teeth/

http://www.knowyourteeth.com/infobites/abc/article/?abc=w&iid=315&aid=3805

I hope you have learnt something new and can apply it to your kids

Till Next Monday

Stay Blessed

#beingaparent

Exploitation of Children

This last week has been so emotionally draining and confusing. A voice note of an interview done of a 9 year old sex worker was heard by so many people in Zimbabwe and other nations. It was tough to hear and also scary to believe. Within a few days our government intervened, the Minister of Parliament for that constituency intervened, Zimbabweans came together and voiced their disgust over the issue. People offered to donate money, others even donated. At a time where things in Zimbabwe are tough, worldwide there is just turmoil, people came together and tried to help. It was so nice to see and hear how people cared.

Unfortunately, the whole story took a turn and apparently it turned out to be an exploitative situation. I am not too sure how far true that is, I will leave that to the media experts and the public at large. Either way it shouldnt take away the merit of the issue.

So here are my views on this whole thing, strictly focussing on children:
1.  The organisation that highlighted the issue managed to raise awareness on what is actually happening. It definitely is an issue, so there was no wrong there.

• The men that are sleeping with young girls,  what they are doing to these girls psychologically, is so disturbing. These actions will have long term effects on the children.
• Exploitation of children based on the children's financial needs is criminal. To take advantage of young children because they need money or shelter or food is not right. 
• These children are going to need alot of counselling, and it may take years or months, but the important thing is to make sure that we know that the children will need some help to get through this, past this and over this. 
• Getting back into society to try and be 'normal' again, may take a while, but once they are protected and counseled, it is the start of their new journey. It will definitely be hard for them, but it can be done.

2. The WAY the organisation created awareness was inappropriate, they did not protect the  child.

• Children are innocent human beings that need our protection. In their innocence, they trust us adults to protect them and guide them. 
• An abused child should be protected not exposed to the media. It is important to highlight the issue, but to interview the child, I do not believe is in the best interest of the child. The focus now was on finding this little girl and saving her, what if the attention could have put her in harm's way?

People were concerned, donated and tried to help, and now trust has been lost as to where to give money or if to give at all. It has just made so many lose trust in organisations that are in our country claiming they want to help those in need.  I had people reach out to say they want to help, and my plan was to work with an organisation helping the children already.

For the girls that are in the situation, we need to help in practical ways with either the Ministry of Public Service, Labor and Social Welfare (which I would like to commend for what they did, and how they helped) or trusted organisations that work with the ministry to donate clothes, books, bedding, food even. Such donations do make a difference and I think that is what we can do as individuals.  

I hope we will know soon how we can help and where people can send their contributions to.  If I get any updates I will keep everyone posted. 

But thank you again to all who reached into their pockets and resources to try and help. It is not easy with how our own money is never enough, but we managed to think of someone who needed that money more. May you all be blessed for showing so much love.


We need to remember, children are a gift from God. They are meant to be protected, loved, educated and given opportunities to be great in their lives.  They are not a tool for our own selfish needs.

Let us help where we can, how we can and know that it takes a village to raise a child. Let us not turn a blind eye when a child needs help. Just because it is not your child, doesn't mean you shouldn't help.


Till next Monday

 
 Stay blessed

#beingaparent

How To Help Your Child With Dyslexia

There are some subjects that you cannot just guess a solution, and helping a child with dyslexia is one of them. I had to research practical ways to ensure that our readers and listeners get the correct help, and not just Tafi's suggested solution. It's a sensitive subject and must be handled as such because it could affect a child's purpose, self esteem and character if not addressed correctly. So that's why you have found that my last three posts have been from sites and not just me sharing. I didnt look for academic sites because sometimes we need less complicated solutions to be effective and to easily remember them. After reading them I found I could remember the important points easily and knew how to apply them easily.

One thing that popped up as I was reading through alot of literature was the fact that as a parent, you will have to be creative in how you help your child learn concepts. Its about using all your senses to help your child remember. I think this is quite fun to be honest, because it opens up the creative side in your brain as well as stimulating your child's creativity. I can understand why some of the dyslexic people I know and have heard of are artistic: they see the world through the senses and are really good at it!

So let me share some practical ways of helping your child; 

• Read to your child. Find time to read to your child every day. Point to the words as you read. Draw attention to words that you run across in daily life, such as traffic signs, billboards, notices, and labels.
• Be a good reading role model. Show your child how important reading is to daily life. Make books, magazines, and other reading materials available for your child to explore and enjoy independently.
• Focus on the sounds within words (phonemes). Play rhyming games, sing songs that emphasize rhyme and alliteration, play word games, sound out letters, and point out similarities in words.
• Work on spelling. Point out new words, play spelling games, and encourage your child to write.
• Help with time and planning. Hang up simple charts, clocks, and calendars, so your child can visualize time and plan for the future.
• Share in the joy of reading. Find books that your child can read but that you will also enjoy. Sit together, take turns reading, and encourage discussion. Revisiting words that cause trouble for your child and rereading stories are powerful tools to reinforce learning.
• Read, read, read. Read to and with your child. This can help make a positive difference in learning basic reading skills. 

 Here are some ways to encourage your child

• Learn about dyslexia. Information about dyslexia can help you better understand and assist your child.
• Teach through your child's areas of strength. For example, if your child understands more when listening, let him or her learn new information by listening to an audiobook or watching a DVD. If possible, follow up with the same story in written form.
• Respect and challenge your child's natural intelligence. Most children with dyslexia have average or above-average intelligence that can be challenged by parents who encourage their intellectual growth. Be honest with your child about his or her disability. Explain it in understandable and age-appropriate examples and terms while offering unconditional love and support.
• Teach your child to persevere. You can model, through good-humored acceptance of your own mistakes, that mistakes can help you find solutions.
• Recognize your child's limitations. There may be some things your child will always struggle with. Help your child understand that this doesn't mean he or she is a failure.
• Don't become a homework tyrant. Expecting perfection and squabbling with your child over homework will create an unhealthy relationship and emphasize your child's failures.
  (Source: webMD)

 Another site (nessy.com)  shared these teaching tips, which I think are great for not just teachers, but parents. Having the same way of teaching at home and at school I believe will achieve success and also give the child a routine to expect when they are learning.  Many kids are home schooled now, so it could help to remember these points.

1. Praise Gives Power Criticism Kills

A person with dyslexia needs a boost to their self-confidence before they can learn to overcome their difficulties. They have already experienced failure and deep down they often don’t believe they are capable of learning.

To re-establish self-confidence provide the opportunity to succeed and give praise for small achievements.

 2. Don’t ask person with dyslexia to read aloud

Words are likely to be misread or skipped, causing embarrassment.

3. Don’t give a punishment for forgetting books or sports kit

Offer positive strategies such as having one place to put things away.

4. Don’t use the word ‘lazy’

People with dyslexia have to work harder to produce a smaller amount.

They will have difficulty staying focused when reading, writing or listening.

5. Expect less written work

A person with dyslexia may be verbally bright but struggle to put ideas into writing.

Allow more time for reading, listening and understanding.

6. Prepare a printout of homework and stick it in their book

Provide numbered steps, e.g. 1. Do this. 2. Do that etc.

 7. Do not ask them to copy text from a board or book

Give a printout. Suggest they highlight key areas and draw thumbnail pictures in the margin to represent the most important points.

8. Accept homework created on a computer

Physical handwriting is torture for most people with dyslexia. Word processors make life much easier. Allow them to use the Spell checker and help with grammar and punctuation so that you can see the quality of the content.

9. Discuss an activity to make sure it is understood

Visualising the activity or linking it to a funny action may help someone with dyslexia remember.

10. Give the opportunity to answer questions orally

Often people with dyslexia can demonstrate their understanding with a spoken answer but are unable with to put those ideas in writing. (Source: nessy.com)

Its about love, patience, consistency, creativity and repetition really. Love your child for who they are and let them know that and let them see it. Be consistent, be patient and with them and be creative based on their character. Just the same way you are anxious, so is your child. Enjoy the journey and learn your child.

I hope this has helped a parent struggling with how to help their child. Do not leave it to the teacher, they do part of it, you have to do the rest. Please look up speech therapists and child psychologists in Zimbabwe, they are there to help you along this challenging but exciting journey, do not go through this alone. 

Till next Monday

Stay blessed

#beingaparent



https://www.nessy.com/uk/teachers/essential-teaching-tips-dyslexia/
http://www.webmd.com/children/tc/helping-your-child-with-dyslexia