I was having a discussion with friends over the weekend about what our children are exposed to and how we are too slow in keeping up with everything. It is easy to control what your child is exposed to when they are in your house, but once they leave your house and go to school or go visiting, you really have no idea what they are learning. The subject of who our kids are exposed to and what they do then came up. Someone asked ''Are you okay with your child going to the shops with the child minder?'' My answer was ''definitely not'' because I am super protective and I worry about the worst case scenario happening; what if she is hit by a car? What if someone grabs her and runs off? I would probably be in jail for what I would end up doing to the child minder, so I try avoid those situations, hence my kids do not go to the shops without me.
Each person had their own opinion on it, which was interesting to see the different parenting styles, but we all seemed to have the same response to the next question: ''How would you feel if you gave a friend/relative your children for the day/weekend, and she gave her friend/relative (that you do not know) your kids and hers to play with? Would you be okay with that?'' It made us all think, but we all said it isn't okay. That made me actually question what risks are involved when you take someone's child for the day or the night?
So in the scenario above, there are 3 adults involved: the mom (let's call her Anna), the mom's friend/relative (let's call her Sue) and Sue's friend/relative that Anna doesn't know (let's call her Mary).
As a mother, you will only give your child to people (including relatives) you trust, so let's look at the situation:
Point #1: Anna gave Sue her children because she trusts Sue, and Sue gave Mary all the children because she trusts Mary.
Point #2: Mary doesn't know Anna. Should anything happen to Anna's children at Mary's house, who is to blame?
Point #3: Was Sue wrong in giving Mary the children? Sue's children were there also, so is it an issue?
Point #4: Should Mary have asked Sue to call Anna for permission? Is that being too paranoid?
So how can you safeguard yourself?
1. You need to know the type of parent you are dealing with when you agree to watch their child. Some mothers will be understanding should something happen, some mothers need to know where you are going with their child, and some will fume over a small scratch.
2. It is always safer to speak to the parent first and let them know if they are ok with your plans. Without getting too technical, legally, if anything happens to a child in your care, you could be sued for negligence or ill treatment, hence why schools and play centres and activity centres require the parent to sign an indemnity form, because they know anything can happen and they want the parent to know and agree that things can happen and it is not the institution's fault. You obviously can't make your friend/relative sign an indemnity form, but you can let them know what your plans are to protect yourself should anything happen.
3. If you have been given someone else's child like in the example above, make sure you speak to the mother and let her know you have her child. She may think its a small issue, or you may find she is upset with the arrangement and will want her child home. At least you asked before you took the child.
Yes this may all sound too ''extra'' but there have been unfortunate circumstances that have occurred, and it hasn't ended well. A child has gone missing, a child got run, a child got abused. Those may be a few situations, but they have happened, and those mothers' lives have been changed forever.
It is always better to be safe than sorry. If I have someone's child for the day, I tend to avoid public places and crowds, I know I cannot watch all of the kids at the same time.
Let's be cautious with our actions and protect ourselves and our children. We can't always protect them, but at least let's try where we can.
Till Next Monday,
Stay Blessed
#beingaparent
#childsafety
