Should We Push Our Kids To Be Academic?

Many parents that I know, prays that their child excels from the moment they start school; they want to be the parent that goes for prize giving and is too tired from getting up to clap for their child because their child is getting most of them! The child should be good at sports too and other activities, an all-rounder. I must admit I am like that too. I would love my children to be excellent in their academics, so I will admit I am a pushy mum (They say the first step is acceptance ...hahahah). My push comes because I am an academic, so unfortunately I push. But the importance is understanding WHY you want your child to be an academic and understand the consequences

So some of the effects on your child could be:

1. Stress: The child could feel pressure to excel and could be depressed, be angry, and physically they could have headaches or stomach aches.

2. Anxiety: Children feel the pressure to please their parents and thus put more pressure on themselves to succeed. The need to be praised and rewarded is always there. If they fail, they feel they have let you down.

3.  Anger: Sometimes the pressure can affect a child to get to the point of resenting you the parent.  Your child may refuse to follow rules or guidelines, lying or acting out

4.  Withdrawal: Some children internalise their 'failure in your eyes' by thinking they do not deserve to be loved.


So how do you manage your expectations, which is what we need to do?

1. Find out why: Take time to find out why you want your child to succeed. Is it a failed goal that you wish you had achieved? Is it pressure to show your child off?

2. Find out if your child is really good academically 

3. Accept your child for who they are. The importance is their happiness

4. Have an open relationship with your children. Offer them help where you can, or understand what they enjoy at school and what they are not strong at. This makes them feel like you care. 

5.  Monitor your child.  Watch how they eat, sleep and interact with others to see if they are feeling any pressure from school or from you

6. Enjoy your child.  Enjoy the uniqueness of your child and enjoy being their parent. Be balanced and supportive and celebrate your child's achievements and efforts, academically or not

You only live once, make the most of the time you have with your children

Till next Monday

Stay Blessed

#beingaparent